Nadir
by KTHunter
Summary: The next installment of the Twilight Child series. Nadir: the lowest point.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

This is the 4th major installment of the Twilight Child story arc. Here are the stories so far, in order:

_Twilight Child_

_Deeper_

----_Stair Luge Samurai_ – one shot

_Coyote_

_Nadir_

I hope you enjoy it!

There is a one-shot that I have planned that takes place between "Coyote" and "Nadir" that I have not been able to complete yet. I have no idea when it will be ready. However, "Nadir" makes sense without the story line there. Basically, it is the story of when Raven meets Matt Logan, Gar's cousin. It will get posted, some day.

**Author's Notes:**

This series is based on the comic series and not the animated series, so if you have only seen the animated version of the Titans, you may encounter situations and characters with which you may not be familiar. Hopefully, though, there will be enough author's notes along the way to fill you in on the gaps between the two versions of the Titans.

The "Twilight Child" series breaks continuity with the current Geoff Johns series at issue #20. Any events in the current series after that point (including _Infinite Crisis _and the One Year Later storylines) do not affect this arc.

This story arc leans heavily on Teen Titans history from the Marv Wolfman era to the present day Geoff Johns era. For those of you who have not read the earlier stories, I have tried to include some details in my Author's Notes at the end of each chapter. I prefer to use author's notes rather than use lengthy as-you-know-Bob explanations that would bog down the flow of the story. However, if I leave out an explanation, feel free to send me a private message via my profile. I am more than happy to answer any questions, and I love getting email. If you see anything that is wildly inaccurate (or if you just want to talk Titans), please let me know, and I will do my best to correct it.

I am enjoying the current series very much. If you haven't read the comics yet, I encourage you to check them out.

With deep thanks to my beta-readers: DeTroyes, Pliskin MacReady, and SixStringSamurai. I could not have done this without you. Also, I send a special thanks to all who have read all of the stories up to this point and to all of my friends on the RBSU Forum. Thanks for sticking with me, guys. I have enjoyed hearing from all of you. It brings me a lot of joy to get your reviews and PM's. Your encouragement means a lot to me.

Deep appreciation to artificial-smile on deviantArt for supplying me with research materials for several chapters in this fic.

For Mama and Pops, who have always encouraged me to be creative and never, ever separated me from my beloved comics when I was growing up. For my brothers, who introduced me to a love of comics and science fiction in the first place. And for my husband, who now shares my love of the genre (and puts up with my hours slaving away over the keyboard). And for my grandmother, who only ever wanted me to be happy.

And now . . . without further ado…

Nadir – Chapter 1

"Now, focus on this, Raven. This is a very important skill I'm teaching you. What's that one look like?"

Raven shaded her eyes with a slender hand as she gazed into the sky. "Oh, dear…cotton balls? Or is it cotton candy?"

"Good start, but look at the outline. What does it remind you of? What does it make you think about?"

"Well, _that_ one makes me think of mashed potatoes." She leaned back into Gar's shoulder and rolled her eyes up at him. "What do we call this activity, again?"

"Cloud busting," he replied with a sigh of mock exasperation. "It must be lunchtime. You're imagining with your stomach."

"It _has_ been a while since breakfast, beloved," she chuckled. She curled her legs closer to herself, enjoying the warm sunshine as it worked its way into her bones. The long grass beneath their blanket rustled with her movement. She felt his arm tighten around her as she buried her cheek into his soft gray sweatshirt.

"Well, my little Nightingale," he muttered into her hair, "it's all part of my mission – Operation: Recovered Childhood. You're going to pick up some of the things you've missed out on."

"And cloud busting is an important thing?"

"Major. Almost as much as humor assimilation. It makes you use your _i-mag-i-na-tion_." He sang out the last few syllables and chucked her under her chin. "And it kinda tells you what's on your mind. What about that one?" He pointed at another mass of white floating by.

"Let me think. Oh, a buffalo?"

"Ah, good! Since you're a vegetarian, I'll take that as your first non-food answer of the day." He planted a firm kiss on her temple. He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. Closing his eyes to the deep blue sky, he listened to her breathing.

"And that one looks like…like a rather large dog." Her voice was as clear and bright as the day.

A single green eye snuck open for a moment to gaze at the image. "Dead ringer for Old Bill. You missing your cousin?"

Her hand wrapped itself around his as she played mindlessly with his fingers. "Yes," she said, "I heard from Karen yesterday. They…they have finished clearing the rubble from the landslide."

"Wow, two weeks. That took them a while. Did they find your grandfather?"

"No, not yet. They are trying to sift through the rocks again. I offered to assist, but Charles wanted to do it himself."

"What do you think happened?"

"I—I do not know – can we discuss it later?" She started to shiver.

"Sure, baby, sure," he replied with a slight mental cringe behind his eyes.

Reaching over with both arms, he pulled her to him. Reclining into the grassy rise behind them, he pillowed her head on his chest. Her head slid up to plant itself in her favorite spot so that her ear could hover just above his heartbeat. Green fingers wound their way into her hair as she tugged the far corner of their blanket over her. He could feel her relaxing into him; every time they curled up together, she relaxed more rapidly. A drowsy breeze blew across them both, and their relaxation slipped into a light nap.

She would often nap like this. Sometimes it would be with her head on his shoulder while they watched a sunset. Other times she spooned up beside him on the couch as they watched another movie in his attempts to cultivate her sense of humor. She slept as if she had never slept before.

His steady green eyes studied her as he continued to caress her hair. _Such trust, _he thought. _You trust a guy like me…_

The grass danced in the breeze. He did not mind her nodding off. It was their only chance to really rest with each other, since they were not allowed to share a bed at the tower. Cyborg was paranoid that some of the mentors would pull their sidekicks out of the Titans if they spent too much time together behind closed doors, possibly setting a bad example that might spread to the younger members.

He continued stroking her hair. A soft grunt rumbled in his chest as he felt her sense of relaxation seep into him.

Their private agreement to wait on intensifying their relationship had remained just that – private. But there were questions, questions that they both had, that begged for answers…

(break)(break)

Bart peeked out the window at the sleepy pair in the distance. A crooked grin inched across his face as he returned his attention to the game controller clutched in his hand. Its hypnotic music held him in its grasp as he completed another level. Thumbs and fingers danced across the controller in a jerky rhythm. Closer and more frantic, faster, his hands moving faster than the console could keep up . . .

_Bleep. _The communications console invaded his imagined world.

He paused the game.

_Bleep._

"Okay, okay! Don't get your circuits in a wad." He pressed a button. "Titans Tower, how may I help you?"

"Baaaaart!" A deep and cheerful voice answered him. "That you? How's it goin', little buddy?"

"Hi, Roy."

"Hey. Vic around? I need to talk to him a minute."

"Nope." _He's out with Lenina, _Bart thought._ He won't be around for a while._

"Yo-kay. Howzabout Raven? She might be able to answer a question or two."

Bart's eyes slipped out the window to look over at his friends again.

"She's…er… taking a nap, Roy. I really don't want to disturb her."

"Ah. The little green guy available?"

"He's, uh, taking a nap, too."

"What? _Together_?"

Bart jumped back from the speaker at the sudden increase in volume. "Umm….uh…"

"Just joking."

"Uhhhh…well…"

"You trying to tell me something?"

"Weeeeell, noooo…Roy, um…"

"Woo-hoo! Gar, that old dog! What's he got that I ain't got?"

"Uh . . . Roy?" Bart scratched his head.

"Yeah, Bart. She shoots me down every time I ask. Long, long story. Look, kiddo, just have Cyborg call me back when he has a chance, okay? Don't bother the lovebirds."

"Okay, Roy, I'll – "

_Click._

Bart wrinkled his nose. _Weird._

(break)(break)

"Weird," Roy cackled as he shut off his phone. He tried to picture the green shape-shifter and the empath together. He could barely hold his sides in. "Really, _really_ weird."

He tried to stand up. The image flooded his mind again, and he slapped his knee with gusto. "Now, _that's_ funny as hell. I've gotta tell _somebody_."

Trying to catch his breath, he dialed the phone again, making sure to scramble the signal before the other end was answered.

"Whoooooo! Dick! Old buddy," He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "you're not gonna believe this . . ."

(break)

Bart was deep in another round of the game. He was so deep that the rest of the world – the sleepy couple outside, Roy's gutter-bound mind, the needy communications console – was light years away. A single goal -- to beat this unbeatable level without using cheat codes-- floated in front of him on a haloed cloud. So close—

_Bleep._

Bart sighed and paused the game again.

"Titans –"

"Dude!" Another voice rattled the speakers. "Is this Robin?"

"Uh, no. Kid Flash on watch today. Hi, Matt," Bart droned.

"Hey, little guy, sorry about that. Is my cousin around?"

"No, Matt, he's – "

"Out with his chick-a-dee, I bet. Good for him. Hey, just let him know – some of my L.A. insider friends told me there's a story on him on _Superheroes Tonight_ at seven. He might wanna watch."

"I'll pass it on."

"Great, kiddo. Oh, and remind him that I still wanna come up there and ride the stair luge with you guys. I've only done six stories . . ."

(break)(break)

A/N:

In case you've never met these guys before:

Roy Harper/Arsenal: Roy used to be Speedy, the sidekick of Green Arrow. He started out as an archer, but he has since expanded his repertoire to include other weapons. He was a member of the original Fab Five Titans and was a reserve member of the Wolfman-Perez Titans. He tried to ask Raven out at least once in the WP era #26. I'm sure she would have turned him down anyway, but Dick put the kibosh on the question as soon as it was asked. It was a cute little panel. He is quite the Casa Nova at times. He and Raven have always had a friendly (even if not shippy) rapport during the few times they have interacted.

Matt Logan: Gar Logan's paternal cousin. We met him in the Beast Boy mini series a few years ago. He is a delightful character to write and is much loved by many Titans fans. He has no super powers (at least, none I am aware of). I think he deserves to appear in the pages of the Titans once again. He is too good a creation to fade into obscurity.

Lenina: Dr. Lenina Sommers is the doctor that we met in "Deeper" that helped Raven and Gar while they were in the barometric chamber. She is not a very prominent character. But I did think Cyborg could use some lovin'.


	2. Chapter 2

Nadir – Chapter 2

The synthesized trumpets that blared from the television set in the shop window captured the attention of the crowd that was shuffling by.

"Welcome to _Superheroes Tonight_," it called.

"Hi, I'm Bill Betterman, and you're watching _Superheroes Tonight_, the show that gives you the lowdown on our masked friends. We have lots of stories to fill you in on the latest comings and goings of superheroes everywhere. Hey, Dark Knights need love, too."

Most of the onlookers rolled their eyes and continued their own routines. One petite figure stayed, watching the montage of cloaked and masked figures whiz by on the screen in synch with the music. She brushed a strand of auburn hair from her face as the anchorman reappeared on the screen.

"This evening, we've got a blast from the past for you! Former child star Garfield Logan, also known to sci-fi fan girls as Tork on _Space Trek: 2022, _as well asthe Titan named Beast Boy, was spotted recently on a date with a mysterious, and by the looks of her, underage young lady--"

The anchorman's smiling face was replaced by a photograph of a large, green palm reaching for the photographer. The woman's hazel eyes focused on the photograph, studying the fuzzy faces behind the hand. The "young lady" could not be seen.

"Has Tork finally given his heart away? Her identity is a mystery to us now, but stay tuned as our top investigators get on the job and find out the name of the lucky lady."

She sighed and turned away from the window. The soothing voice of Mr. Betterman followed her.

"And in our speculation segment, we'll continue our story on the possible secret identity of the most mysterious Titan of all, the blue-cloaked mistress of magic herself—"

The words "blue-cloaked" grasped her ears, and she turned her head back toward the television set. Feeling herself drawn to the image, she rested her palm on the shop window as if to touch the picture of a small woman whose face was hidden beneath a birdlike cowl.

Fog grew on the glass as she exhaled. Her other hand flew to her chest to cover her heart.

Her head bowed and touched the glass. "Oh, my lady. My _Arjh-no-ree_. Your Azar has found you at last."

(break)(break)

A/N: I have had a lot of questions about the lady in this chapter. This is just her introduction. You will find out more about her in the next story. But here is a clue: Azar is the name of the spiritual leader of Azarath, where Raven grew up.(In fact, that name was also carried by the leader's mother and grandmother.)She practically raised our favorite empath from the time Raven was born. Azar died when Raven was 10. Raven inherited her rings of power, which were the gold rings that Raven wore all the time during the Wolfman-Perez days. Those rings (and the spirit of Azar) played a huge part in the Terror of Trigon story arc. I think the rings have since disappeared. Anyway, this woman calls herself Azar. The question is -- is it the same Azar?


	3. Chapter 3

Nadir – Chapter 3

The early morning sunshine filtered through the kitchen window and drifted across a slim hand stirring a thick mass of cooking barley. The rays reflected off the mirrored side of the pot and danced across the opposite wall. A soft hum wound itself out of the young empath, curling itself into the steam drifting over her breakfast. Her head tilted from side to side as she moved to music playing itself in her head. She felt a slight quiver in the air around her head.

_He's awake,_ she thought. She felt a shiver of embarrassment and delight run down her spine as she sensed Garfield's mind slowly unfurl itself from the depths of sleep.

Moments later, a lime-hued Maine Coon cat was purring his way through the folds of her robe. The folds of it rustled on the floor. She glanced down at him with one eyebrow raised, confirming to herself that he remained on the _outside_ of her nightclothes.

"Good mornin', my little Rave of sunshine," he meowed up at her as his velvet paws slid across the floor. A sheepish pride shone in his eyes.

_Oh, dear_, she groaned inwardly.

"G-good morning, beloved," she stammered.

A whisper of feathers answered her. She felt a slight pressure on her right shoulder as a parrot landed there and blinked at her questioningly.

He squawked softly. "Your MP3 batteries died again, huh?"

The blood rushing to her heated cheeks was her only reply. She reached for a steaming mug on the counter, focusing on it so she would not have to look him in the eyes. _The music…my shield…not my dream, after all…_

"Hoooo-boy," the parrot whistled. "Some day you've gotta remember to plug that thing in at night. So you got a download of my dreams again. You okay?"

Her hands trembled as she remembered the intensity of that dream, the one that she thought had been hers alone. The tremors in her fingers dashed hot drops of liquid onto her knuckles. Air hissed between her teeth as she felt burns rake her skin.

The pressure on her shoulder transferred to her back as Garfield reappeared in his human form behind her, pressing his chest into her back. Bare green arms reached around her and took the still-shaking cup from her with one hand and turned on the cold water in the sink next to them with the other. Guiding her fingers to the cooling stream, he washed away the burning tea with great gentleness. Still holding her from behind, he took a nearby towel and wrapped it around her hand, softly drying it.

"Oh, baby," he whispered, "I'm sorry if my dreams scare you. It just came to me – I didn't know it would – of all nights –" Her shivers subsided while his arms tightened around her. The sheepishness melted into worry. "If it bothers you, _tell_ me. Talk to me."

She rested her hands on his forearms, holding them still against her waist. "No, no. Not a bother. It is just I thought it was me, my dream, because I… I was not just an observer this time. And I don't want to invade your privacy—"

He kissed her cheek to stop her babbling. "Shhhh…. Who knows, maybe that was _supposed_ to happen." His voice softened even more. "How did you feel?"

Her eyes hid behind close lids as she recalled the vividness of the dream. She swallowed hard before replying. "Does it always feel so… real? So… so…"

"Mmmmmm," he muttered into her neck. "As far as I know--yes. It does." He lifted his head from her shoulder.

She leaned back into his embrace. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I just need…need some time."

His lips curled into a smile against her throat again. "Time I've got. Time you have."

She allowed her senses to collapse down to a tight bubble around her. She wanted to sense them and only them; she wanted to feel that warmth and affection and concern that always seemed to surround him. It was becoming a welcomed and expected part of her existence. The sense of peace seemed to stretch out forever, and she began humming again.

And a stroke of verbal lightning shattered that stillness: "Well, isn't _this_ a homey scene."

(break)(break)

A/N:

It was revealed in the current TT #23 that Raven sometimes experienced the dreams of others that were sleeping in the tower. The MP3 player: This first showed up in my fic "Deeper". My theory is that music acts as a kind of empathic blocker that would protect Raven from experiencing the dreams of others as she sleeps. If the music shuts off, there is the chance that she would experience the dreams again. And what a time for it to fail!


	4. Chapter 4

Nadir – Chapter 4

"Wallace?" Raven's heard turned toward the voice.

Garfield and Raven stared at the crimson uniform of the young man before them. He leaned against the frame of the kitchen door and studied the pair.

"You two?" he asked. His eyes were opened so widely that his eyebrows nearly skimmed his hairline.

Gar felt the young woman in his arms tense up, knowing instantly why her peace had suddenly evaporated. The soft morning light had become a glaring reflection off the tea kettle. The soft gurgling of the barley in the pan had turned into wet slurping sounds as the bubbles collapsed and spattered scorching grains onto the stove. He tightened his arms around her. A soft growl took root in his chest.

"Yes," Raven replied as she jutted her chin out. She clutched the upper folds of her robe below her neck together before she continued in a low but clear voice. "Us."

"_You're_ the mysterious woman he's been dating?"

"_Excuse_ me?" Gar asked. "Who's been talking about a—"

"I never thought I'd hear myself say this, Gar, but you need to watch television more often."

"Ah, never tell him that, Wally," Victor's deep voice called from the next room. He appeared behind the Flash's shoulder. His lip twisted at the sight of his two tower mates in their pajamas. "Sorry, guys, I forgot to tell you about our early company. Wally's here to talk about a joint mission between the JLA and the Titans to see if we can finally locate those tissue samples that the BRU took from STAR."

"Since I used to be a Titan," Wally began, "it just made sense. There's a good chance one or two of those samples are mine, anyway."

Cyborg pulled Wally back away from the door and steered him in the direction of the conference rooms. His words trailed behind him: "C'mon, Wally, it'll be just like old times."

Gar released Raven from his embrace and turned off the stove eye. The stench of burnt breakfast curled around his nose. He watched her as she folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes shone on the edges as she watched him set the pan in the sink.

He handed her the cooling cup of tea. "Sorry about that."

She shrugged in response. "It is not what he said."

"You just hate being surprised, don't you?"

She nodded and took a sip of the tea. She glanced at the empty doorway. "Let us go elsewhere for our morning meal. I can still… I can still feel him here."

"You got it, babe."

_Yeah, Vic, just like old times, _Gar thought. _That's what I'm afraid of._

(break)(break)

Cyborg's stare bore a hole in Wally's forehead. "Are we going to be able to work as a team again?"

A weak laugh escaped the speedster. "Sure, Vic, why not?"

"I dunno. After what I just saw, I wonder."

"And what, pray tell, just happened, Vic?"

"You tell me. I could have cut the tension in that room with one of my lasers."

"Gar and I get along just fine."

"I'm not talking about Gar, and you know it," Vic said. He sat down in a chair across from the Flash and leaned his elbows onto the conference table. "If we do this, you've got to work with _her_, Wally. She's just now starting to get her feet on the ground. I don't need you giving her a hard time. About anything."

"Do we have to talk about this now?"

"Yes."

Wally's teeth ground together. "Vic, I don't like what you're implying. I'm not _going_ to give her a hard time. Whatever was between us is a long time gone. I'm not the enemy here."

"Could've fooled me."

"I wasn't being rude. I was just surprised, is all. I wasn't prepared. To see her, you know. I haven't seen her much since—"

"She's changed since she came back, Wally. I think she's doing a lot better now. She's _happy_." Vic leaned back in his chair. "But I know you didn't come here to talk about her love life. Or yours. Just tell me now if you're going to be fine with the team as it is or if we need to get another liaison."

"I'm fine. Trust me."

(break)(break)

The reflections of the sun from the distant tower windows winked at the pair lingering on the pier.

"You gonna be okay with this?" Gar asked. "We could always send Cassie on Flash's team instead."

"I am nervous, yes, but—"

"You're admitting it?"

"You made me promise not to say the word 'fine' any more, remember?"

"Yeah, I did." He nudged her arm with his elbow. "I know you cared about him way back when, Rave, even if he never really caught on." He slipped an arm around her shoulders and drew her closer to his chest to shelter her from the brisk breeze.

"It will be fine, I think," she replied with a less-than-heartfelt smile. "We are both…professionals. We are correcting an action done by my grandfather. I should go on the laboratory team. It is my—"

"If you say 'your fault' one more time…" Gar hissed through his teeth as he squeezed her shoulder more tightly. He relaxed the hold before he continued. "You know damn good and well it's not your fault. So cut out the 'it's my fault' crap right now. I don't take that card."

A deep frown was her only reply.

"I mean it," he scolded. He rubbed her shoulder blades with the back of his hand. He winked down at her. "C'mon. You're just a little grouchy, is all. I know what'll fix you right up."

(break)(break)

"…and then, if all goes well, we'll all meet back here at the tower for milk and cookies after."

The Flash grinned. "I like my celebrations to be just a little stronger. So, my team goes for the samples, yours goes for the offsite data warehouse." Wally brushed his fingers against the table. "That way they can't restore any digitized versions of our DNA they may have stored. Sounds like a plan to me. Do the others –"

Cyborg stood up and strolled around the table. He towered over Wally's chair. "I've already briefed them. We'll go over it again before we take off."

Wally pushed his own seat back as he got to his feet. He grasped Vic's hand and shook it. "Tomorrow, then."

(break)(break)

"Say, didn't this used to be the broom closet?" Gar scratched his head. "I've not been in your meditation room all that much."

The pungent aroma of a lit match wafted past his nose as she lit the last of a rack of glowing candles. "It is large enough for my needs."

"Are you kidding? I'll have to step into the hallway just to change my karma."

Her back was turned to him, but he could still sense the smile in her voice. "Lower the lights, please."

"_Rrrrrowr_. Okay." He flicked off the lights. "Are you sure you wanna _meditate_?"

"This was your suggestion."

He chortled. "Yeah, I guess it was."

The valleys of her face were concealed in shadow as she turned to face him. She gestured to the large cushion on the floor.

"I think that twisted pretzel pose is gonna kill my knees."

"Full lotus is not truly necessary. Just sit in a way that makes you feel comfortable."

He dropped onto the cushion a little harder than he had intended. He felt the deliberate movements of the young woman behind him as she settled onto the cushion, facing the opposite direction. Her shoulders leaned into his for a moment as she adjusted her position. The heat from her body soaked through his shirt and into his skin.

"What – what do I do now?"

"It is not a matter of doing, really," she said softly. "Just breathe. Focus on just breathing. Your mind will wander. Thoughts will interrupt you. Don't worry about them. Just let them go and focus on the breath again."

"That's it?"

"In the beginning, yes. But it is more difficult than it sounds."

The warmth pressing against his back jump-started all sorts of thoughts that chased around his skull. Thoughts that were hard to push away. "Yeah, no kidding."

She did not answer. The expansion of her shoulder blades brushed against his as her breathing slowed and deepened. Garfield closed his eyes and just savored the touch. Bit by bit, his breathing slowed itself and moved in time with hers. His mind kept chattering to itself.

_This feels good – learning something about her is good –_

_Shut up. Breathe._

A tiny shake of his head focused him again… for a moment.

_She feels so close – wonder what she's thinking – just breathe, damn it!_

_She's right. This _is_ hard._

Her breathing was now deeper and slower. The warmth against his back grew hotter.

_Touch – want to touch you – still need to know – can we – what will happen if we – still have to call the stupid doc --I wonder where she really is – what she sees – or does she see anything?_ _This darkness – this closeness –_

Unvoiced words wriggled past his own thoughts, thoughts that didn't feel like his own: _Questions…I have so many…Breathe, girl…who am I…so much to give…_

He shivered. The foreign thoughts just would not stop careening across his eyes. He was fully aware of the flesh meeting his back, flesh he wanted to reach around and trace with his fingertips. He tried to concentrate on his breathing again, tried to match hers. Raven's breathing was full and unhurried. A small, serene wave pushed against the back of his skull and eased some of his inner trembling.

_Petting my brain again – _

The small wave of energy slithered down his spine from his brain and into his chest, spreading calm and relaxation as it traveled.

_Raven – I – I love this feeling – love – how do I keep this –_

A second wave followed the first, like a soothing hand stoking his lungs. His breathing slowed once more.

_You do this for me—to me – what do I do for you – how do I take care of you – heal you -_

His lungs paused between long draughts of air.

_Protect the real – be man enough to protect the real – you –_

His continual internal commentary faded into the background and became a faint murmur. No longer anchored by that chatter, he floated in some blank inner space in his mind. The space was dark at first, but he felt sheltered there. A small pinprick of radiance beckoned in the distance, and each leisurely breath drew the glow closer to him. He couldn't tell if he was moving or it was moving.

The glow was brilliant, but there was no urge to avert his eyes. As it grew closer and brighter, he could see a shape at its heart. A shape that was almost… human …graced its center. Its features were indistinct but felt familiar.

The glow moved closer and closer, until its arms caught him up in a strong embrace that he sank into. His breath slowed even more as he eased into that tender grasp. He continued to descend into it. The heat and the brilliance swam around him until he was completely inside of it. He floated there, looking from the inside of this bright being, and could almost as if he could see through its eyes. He was no longer engulfed in darkness. The light dimmed enough for him to see a great field of stars stretched away in all directions. Celestial fires blazed and pulsed both near and far. And just ahead, a tiny gleaming marble drank in the light that enclosed both of them. Millions of thoughts that were not his whispered in the back of his mind, thoughts that boiled louder and louder…

(break)(break)

Cyborg slipped the disk into the drive and took three tiny sips of his coffee, as he did every morning. The movements of this little chore felt more like a program executing in his head than anything else.

He called up the software that he had designed to scan the special file on the disk. The code was completely of a homebrew variety, since no one else could have written an algorithm capable of handling this unique block of data. Multiple commands fired in batch to examine the file from every possible angle. Even Cyborg had problems designing the correct program to make a true diagnosis of any problems it might have. The most he could do was examine its size and integrity, to see if anything had changed.

"How are you today, Jericho?" he asked the monitor.

The normal byte count of the file was nearly burned into his circuitry after months of examining the disk, with the exception of the days that he was away on a mission. Checksums and parity checks were created and compared day to day, as if the digitized form of the former Titan were being transmitted instead of simply stored.

Victor looked away as he sipped his coffee once more and scanned the top lines of the news web site on the adjacent monitor. His glance returned to the previous screen, expecting to see the same numbers that he saw every day.

Those numbers weren't there.

(break)(break)

"Raven! Gar! Come down to the computer lab!" The hallway speakers quaked with Cyborg's words.

The sudden blast of sound tore the peaceful scene from Beast Boy's heart. He toppled backwards onto Raven, pinning her face-down to the floor. He rolled off the top of her and pulled her close to him.

_Her eyes – I have to see her eyes –_

The tremors from the speaker still reverberated within her skin. He could feel them as he clutched her to him. Cold sweat from his face dripped onto hers. They were both gulping for air, and it was a moment before he could speak.

"Where – where did you take me?"

"In—inside of me," she stuttered as her eyes searched his face with a sparkling wildness. "I-I wanted you to see me. I was trying to – trying to answer some of my questions – the ones I need to answer before—before we –"

"Gar! Please!" Cyborg's voice called again.

Gar stroked her forehead, wiping away some of the beads of sweat there. "He sounds agitated. We'll talk later, okay?"

(break)(break)

A/N:

The tissue samples that Cyborg discusses are the same ones stolen by Thunder Horse and the Black Rose Underground back in Deeper. They still haven't been located! This subplot just won't go away!

For those of you new to the comics, The Flash is Wally (Wallace) West. He used to hold the mantle of Kid Flash, which is now held by our beloved Bart. Back in the Wolfman/Perez series he chased after Raven. This was mainly because to get him on the team, she forced him to fall in love with her (even though there was no chance of her being able to return that love because of dear old dad). At least, that's what everyone _thinks_ happened…

Anyhoo, after a lot of misadventures, torture and misunderstanding, he began to feel a lot of animosity towards her. It was a big reason (not the only one) for his quitting the WP-era team. It was obvious for a long time, though, that he still had some feelings for her, even if they were buried pretty deeply. Special thanks to artificial-smile at deviantart for helping me with the research into the Wally/Rae angle of this story.

Joey on a disk: This is a rather convoluted backstory, so bear with me here.

Jericho (Joseph "Joey" Wilson) is one of several Titans that has suffered from the "going dark syndrome". In his case, just before the "Titans Hunt" story arc in the Wolfman days, he was taken over by some wayward Azarathian souls that had been tainted by Trigon during the "Terror of Trigon" arc. To stop him, the Terminator, his father, had to run him through with a sword. Joey seemed to die then. However, we found out in "A Kid's Game" (Geoff Johns arc) that instead of dying, he hid out in Slade's body. Being a body possessor gave him that ability. As time wore on, Joey took over his father more and more. Eventually, he murdered Slade's best friend and assistant, Wintergreen (may he rest in peace). Near the end of "A Kid's Game", Joey left the Terminator's body and was sucked in by Raven's soul self in her brief escape from Brother Blood's church. He stayed there through the "Family Lost" arc. He was released in the middle of a battle where Raven freed demons, Titans, and the kitchen sink from her soul self. Jericho jumped from body to body during the battle, but he was captured when he attempted to possess Cyborg. Vic forced him to jump into his electronic eye and captured him on a disk. This is the disk that they check every day, according to the _Teen Titans/Outsiders_ _Secret Files and Origins 2005_ story "Teen Titans Hunt". It was a rather sad ending for a character who, until he was taken over by the Azarathians, was a very gentle person and was a very good friend to everyone, especially to Raven. (whew)


	5. Chapter 5

Nadir – Chapter 5

Raven cradled the disk between her palms. The single word scrawled across its label, "Jericho", reflected in her violet eyes. Even without her gloves, she sensed nothing from the spirit trapped in this plastic prison.

"Are you sure?" Vic asked. He leaned forward and gently took the disk from her hands. "Not even some residual presence?"

"No, not even that, Victor." She continued to stare into her now-empty fingers. "But residual emotions only exist where there were emotions in the first place. Perhaps he is in some sort of suspension or stasis. I believe… I believe he is still there." She turned sad, weary eyes toward her friends as her hands returned to her knees. "But this disk is not a proper soul-medium. It does not surprise me that the disk is showing some deterioration. Surely it cannot hold, indefinitely, the enormous energies that make up a soul."

"How long do you think we have?' Garfield asked. She felt his fingers brush her knuckles, felt that little boost of light that she knew he was sending her to try to erase that sadness from her face.

"There is no way to tell. As far as I know, nothing of this sort has happened before." She gazed down at her empty hands. "But I do believe that if we are going to help him, we need to do it soon. If the disk deteriorates further, the results could be unpredictable."

"You have something in mind." Gar's words had a slight tremor that only she could detect.

"We need to talk to him. Help him. Discover why he is still here. Find out why he did not go on to the afterlife when he died."

"Well," Gar replied, "how exactly do we do that? Type in some commands? FTP him to heaven?"

Vic growled at his friend. "We're being serious, Gar."

"I _am_ being serious, here, Cyborg." He pushed his chair away from the table and waved his hand at the monitor room. "Like Raven said, this has never been done before. I don't know of any program that can read his file. Even if it is binary, it can't be encoded in any kind of standard format."

"I can read it," Cyborg replied evenly. "I wrote the file. I can read it."

Raven rubbed the underside of her chin. "Victor, you are the key. I can try to communicate with Joseph, using you as a bridge."

"Whoa-hoa-hoa!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "You mean, Cyborg uploads Joey into his memory and you – you pull that same trick you pulled with Thunder Horse to – to—cure him?"

"Exactly," Cyborg said.

"Precisely," Raven agreed.

"No, no, no, I'm not buying this. What kind of danger are you two volunteering for?"

"We're Titans, Gar," Cyborg replied. "Danger is part of the job."

Raven looked from Cyborg to Beast Boy. "You are correct, though. There are dangers that we should take precautions against. If, in the process, he should – he should possess me, take me over, then we should make certain that he does not get past me and start moving from person to person once more."

"Meaning?"

"My eyes must be covered. And I will need to prevent him from using my ability to move through the dimensions. I can create a barrier to my skills through a meditation beforehand. And I suggest I be… " her eyes shifted from right to left as she fidgeted in her seat. "Restrained."

Gar leapt out of his chair. "No, no, no! Blindfolds? Restraints? No. We're not doing this. If he takes you over and then he has no other place to go – what's going to happen to _you_? How do we get him out? We may not be able to get him back on the disk again."

"That is the risk in this."

"I can't let you do this, Raven. I can't back you up if something goes wrong. He'll be wise to Cyborg's trick. It won't work twice. If you can't get him to go on to the afterlife, there's no other body for him."

"Your points are valid, Garfield," she replied. "But, for the most part, I cannot discover why his spirit is still here without communicating with him. Perhaps, though, he merely needs someone to show him the way to that particular door."

"And what if heaven decides to keep you while you're there?" Gar's face knotted with worry.

Her gaze sank to the floor. Her words were quiet, deflated.

"There is no danger of that."

The sharp rapping of Cyborg's knuckles on the table halted Gar's next question before it could be asked. "We'll discuss this again later. Let's think about it some more before we dive into it." He turned to Raven. "I know how you feel, Rave. But I don't want to put you in danger any more than _he_ does, darlin'." He headed for the door. "I'm giving Nightwing a call. He asked me to keep him updated on Joey. See you two later."

When Cyborg left the room, Garfield eased himself into the seat next to Raven. Concern furrowed his brow as he took her hands between his.

"Are you sure you want to do this, sweets?"

"I do not _want_ to." Her hands balled into fists between his palms. "When I did this with my grandfather it was… it was frightening. It was more dangerous to me than I thought it was going to be."

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

She pursed her lips, trying to force the correct words out of her mind. "Normally, when I – when my body and soul are separated, my body still functions."

"Yes, and…?"

"My grandfather told me that I stopped breathing while I was in his soulscape. I almost…"

"You almost _died_?" He clutched harder at her hands as the crease cut deeper into his forehead.

"Yes, but I'm not sure – not sure if it was because of what I was doing, or if it was because of the pain I had been through – with the drug Charles gave me…"

He shook his head. "I don't _care_ what caused it. I hate the idea of you doing this. I just hate it." He leaned forward so close that his warmth flowed over her. His forehead pressed against hers. "I don't want to lose you."

He slid out of the chair and knelt in front of her. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he pulled her to him and whispered in her ear. "You have someone who loves you now. Someone who cares about what happens to you. Please don't think about doing this." His fingers drifted across the back of her neck. "Please."

Pulsing lips slid across her face and rested on her mouth. She welcomed the contact and the sudden burst of honey as the tip of his tongue slipped past her lips and teased against the back of her teeth. She leaned down into him and opened her lips a little more to accept his affection. The tenderness in his kiss melted into her body like hot butter.

But this time, the honey had a bitter edge to it, a bitter edge that she could not name. But it was still there, haunting the sweetness.


	6. Chapter 6

Nadir – Chapter 6

The metallic tang of the recirculated air carried with it the stale stench of cigarettes smoked at least a month ago. The _clack-clack_ of balls on the billiards table and the _whoosh-thunk_ of darts crashing into a backboard of fuzz-flecked boar's hair sliced through the murmur of conversation.

Slade Wilson scratched the skin at the base of his eye patch – it was the same warm beer; the same slow service; the same fusty peanuts that were older than some of the bottles in his wine cellar; and the same stained carpet of indeterminate hue that reeked of spilled whiskey and filthy ashtrays. It could've been any sleazy dive in any grimy city backstreet.

Except that _this_ sleazy dive was orbiting twenty-two thousand feet above any grimy backstreet.

The old Injustice Gang satellite headquarters was, as many of its denizens called it, a kind of watering hole in the sky. A place that of course the capes knew about, and the villains knew they knew about, but it remained neutral territory. Yet being in space didn't improve the atmosphere-- or the brew.

The bartender wiped down the bar. "Sorry 'bout the warm suds, sir," he said. "The Injustice Gang could've left us a better refrigeration system on this clunker, couldn't they? Third time this month it's gone down."

Slade chuckled under his breath. "Don't give it a second thought, Bob." _I don't come here for the hops and barley, anyway, _he thought His single eye bored a hole through the bottom of the tepid brew in the mug that rested in his hand. He frowned at the bowl of popcorn that must have been popped during the last presidential administration. He scratched his eye patch again. _Although sometimes keeping an eye on the competition can in itself be an occupational hazard, _he thought.

A patchwork of banter drifted over from the pool tables and dart boards and wound its way through the tables and the calls for more beer.

" _**. . . heard about another stash of kryptonite . . ."**_

"_**Rack 'em, Mammoth."**_

"_**Didja hear how the Trickster got caught this time?"**_

"**_Dr. Light, I'll see your diamond and raise you the plans to Titans' Tower . . . "_**

Slade shook his head. _Yeah, and you sell copies for fifty bucks a pop on the Internet._

"_**Flash get 'im again?"**_

"_**Uno!"**_

"_**Of course they're the real plans! See, lookie here."**_

"_**Nah, speeding ticket, of all the damn things."**_

"**_Those are for the New York tower, ya putz. That one got destroyed years ago!"_**

"_**I fold."**_

Slade shook his head. _Cretins. Competition hardly worth keeping tabs on._

A shadow crossed the bar, and the stool next to him scraped across the worn carpet. Air puffed out of the holes in the torn vinyl as a bespectacled man with a receding hairline bellied up to the bar next to him.

_He avoided my blind side. How nice._

"Gimmie a Rolling Rock, Bob."

"Fresh outta those, Calculator, sir."

He jerked his head toward Slade. "Then whatever he's having."

Slade smirked into the lukewarm mug in front of him. "Never figured you for a cheap beer man, Noah."

"Budget's tight, Slade. Investing in some new hardware for the office. Tech changes faster than I can keep up, sometimes. Even in this biz, you gotta spend money to make money. You know how it is."

Slade nodded, half listening to the chatter behind him.

" – _**show comes on in five minutes, Warp."**_

"_**What would I do with plans for a nonexistent tower? I don't hit the small frys anyways –"**_

"**_I can't _believe_ you cheat at Uno."_**

" – _**Joker's latest stunt was pretty wild –" **_

"**_Well, I _am_ a supervillain."_**

The Calculator tossed his glasses onto the bar and pinched the bridge of his nose. A sigh that melted into a grunt rumbled through his sinuses. A tinny chorus of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" wailed from his waist. He pulled a phone from his belt, scanned its tiny screen, and slapped the phone down next to his spectacles.

Slade pointed at the phone. "You can get a signal up here?"

"With the right phone, sure. Cellular won't work up here, but cellular's old hat anyways." He grimaced. "It's the wife. She wants me to pick up some garbage bags on the way home."

The Terminator arched an eyebrow at the supervillain community's information hound. "She's not talking to me right now." He pointed to the phone. "Text messaging: the new silent treatment. Welcome to the twenty-first century."

A flurry of motion behind him told Slade what time it was without needing to look at his watch. _Same time every night._

"_**Shhhhhh, Mammoth. You guys! It's on!"**_

The blaring of synthesized trumpets announced the bar's favorite show.

"Mr. Betterman's in rare form tonight, boys!" Bob yelled over at the crowd hovering over the television. "Turn it up! Did they figure out who Beast Boy's new girlfriend is yet?"

"**_Ten bucks on Argent . . ."_**

Slade shook his head. He made a face as he took another swig from his mug. "What do you want, Noah?"

"_**Nah, she's dead. Ain't she?"**_

"Me? Who says I want anything?"

"_**These days, who knows? Anyways, I bet it's Raven. The girl in the picture had dark hair."**_

"The fact that nobody ever just sits and has a beer with me. And the fact that you're away from your precious monitors. You only leave the keyboard if you're shopping around. Or have something to sell."

"_**I heard she only likes girls."**_

He spread his hands and sighed. "Well, you got me, Deathstroke. Like I said, money's tight. I gotta raise some capital to just keep up with the state of the art. So sometimes I gotta dig around for some nuggets."

"I'm listening."

"Sometimes I do a piggyback slurp on transmissions between some of our, um, neighbors, shall we say. I learn the scrambler codes for certain frequencies, I listen in until I get picked up, they change 'em, I learn the codes all over again."

"_**I heard she doesn't like anybody."**_

"And this is useful to me, how?"

"I think I may have some information on the whereabouts of your son. Joe."

"_**Wasn't she sweet on . . . oh . . who's that kid . . . Jerry-somebody . . . "**_

"My son is dead." Slade's voice crackled with ice.

"Well, Slade, there's dead and then there's _dead_. I know _something_ screwy went on with him when you lost Wintergreen, may he rest in peace, the man sure could make a martini – "

"**_Ahhhhhh, she's an ice queen _and_ a passy-fist to boot. Booooooring. Gimme Starfire any day. Built like a brick shithouse, she is. ._**_ **. "**_

"You're losing my interest. _Not_ smart."

"Anyways, I picked up something off the Titans – Outsiders channel the other day. They know something about your son. Worth somethin' to you?"

" _**. . . I'd like her to kick my ass sometime, I tell ya."**_

"How much?"

"For you? Slade, old buddy?" He took a quick swig of his liquid courage. "A discount. Ten grand."

"Ten –"

"That covers my non-disclosure and confidentiality fees." He shrugged. "Hey, I gotta buy garbage bags for the missus."

Bob shouted over to the crowd, "So, what'd they say?"

"This had better be good, Noah."

Slade accepted the glistening miniature CD from the broker, who left as quietly as he'd arrived. He ordered another beer and turned the disk over and over in his hand. The den of iniquity lurking behind him was reflected off the shining plastic of the disk. The alcohol seeped into his system faster than it normally would. _I must be getting old. _

He gave the popcorn bowl another paranoid once-over to avoid looking at the disk that he still turned in his hands. _I should be home with a pinot noir and a game of chess with Wintergreen, not up here rubbing elbows with –_

"_**Pot's safe for now. They still don't know."**_

He gulped down the rest of the mug and ordered another round. _Wintergreen. Damn you, Jericho. Jericho, _he thought. _Joey. I thought maybe it was over. I had hoped –_

_Damn. _

(break)(break)

A/N:

Calculator – Noah Kuttler is one of my favorite non-Titan villains. He's an information broker for the supervillain community. He can answer questions, assist in diabolical plans and provide contract killers (for a price). I first became familiar with him during the _JLA: Identity Crisis_ story (a great read). For you _Batman_ fans, he is the dark equivalent of Oracle. My bet is that he tries to listen in on as many "cape" transmissions as possible; that information would indeed be a powerful commodity.

You can find a great description of the Calculator on Wikipedia.


	7. Chapter 7

Nadir – Chapter 7

"Tango-Juliet One, over" the Flash said repeating his identification to Salt Lake Center as they were handed off from one flight controller to the next.

"Vulcan!"

"I still think she's a Jedi."

Wally shook his head over the argument between the two boys behind him. It had been the same debate on the way to CADMUS, and the trip back was no better. It did not help that the only other adult on the plane was _her_.

She was behind him at the communications console. The clicking of the keyboard blended in with the back and forth volley between Kid Flash and Superboy. He shifted in his seat, keeping one eye on the radar and one on the yoke as the automatic pilot gave him a break from the focus of flying the T-Jet.

_I wonder if she feels as funny as I do,_ he mused. _I'm pretty sure she knows how awkward I feel right now._

Finally, the bickering between the two teenagers and the _tic-tic-tic_ of Raven's fingers flying over the keyboard got to be too much for him.

He tossed her a glance over his shoulder. Trying to pitch his voice in a friendly tone. "What are they talking about?"

Raven kept typing; her eyes never left the console. The screen lit up her face with a faint blue glow.

After a moment, he swiveled his chair back to face the instrument panel. _Oooookay_. _I guess that answers _that_ question._

"They are referring to me," she said, her voice distracted and quiet. "The debate has gone on for weeks now."

"Doesn't it bother you that they talk about you like that?"

"No."

Wally waited for a longer answer, but all he heard was more clicking of keys. _Well, at least she said something. I don't know what I'm hoping for, but she did speak to me._

". . . Well . . ." he continued, trying to fill in the clumsy silence between them. "Why not? I remember a time when it would have."

He watched her out of the corner of his eye to see how she would react; if she would react.

"Because they only mean well by it." The ticking stopped as she turned to look at him. Clear violet marbles gazed directly into his own. "And because it means they aren't afraid of me."

Gentle steel underpinned those words. Those no-longer-blue eyes pulsed with some feeling he could not identify. It was not quite hostility, but it was not quite affection, either.

Her gaze returned to the report she was writing. "And I've been called worse."

(break)(break)

Inwardly, Raven cringed every time he tried to engage her in conversation.

_I am not sure what he is hoping to gain, here, _ she thought to herself. One hand wandered from the keyboard to brush against where she had bitten her lip during her confrontation with Thunder Horse only a few weeks before. Although it had healed, the spot still ached. That had been the last time she had really thought about Wallace, and it was the time she had really been able to let his memory go.

She continued to type in hope that her demonstration of focus would discourage him from any further conversation. She reached deep to find that buzzing connection to Garfield in her mind, the one that reminded her that she no longer walked the world alone. Its hum calmed the ruffles in her spirit and gave her the feeling that she could, indeed, complete this mission with the Flash. She returned her attention to the screen in front of her.

…_All tissue samples stolen by the BRU have been located and accounted for. They are being transported back to Titans Tower for further storage until we can decide their final disposition…Computerized representations of the genetic code for several Titans were located in their systems. Copies of those files were downloaded then deleted . . . However, it was discovered that there may be off-site backups of these files at an undisclosed location, so the information is still available to CADMUS even without the actual samples . . . We believe that no clones were actually created with this information._

She tried to shut out the noise and awkward emotion around her as she reread her last statement. _No, Raven. Think like a detective. _

She deleted the sentence.

_We found no evidence stating that clones had been created at this facility. Whether other attempts were made at other facilities remains to be seen._

She glanced over at the weather information on the screen to her right. "Wallace, there are reports of turbulence in our path. I would suggest you secure your belt."

He drifted into irritation: "I'm fine."

Two young arms encircled her shoulders from behind. She didn't need to see the crimson gloves to know who it was.

"So, samurai," Bart giggled. "You gonna settle this bet once and for all? So which are ya? Jedi? Vulcan?"

Raven turned to him with an academic air. "Can I not be both? A . . . Vulcan Jedi?"

"But Raven," Conner countered. "They're two different universes! You just can't –"

"Sure I can," she returned with a sly wink. "I _can_ cross dimensions, you know."

"Ahhhhhhh," Bart and Conner chorused. Bart returned to his seat and rubbed his chin. The two boys were silently lost in this new proposition.

Wally just snorted, his irritation retreating from her a little in the new silence. She could sense him struggling with her unusually witty banter.

_Let him absorb _that_ for a while,_ she thought.

A sudden jolt rushed through her as her hips were thrown against her restraints. A sharp pain ripped into her forehead as she sensed an injury off to her left. Her eyes took in what she felt as her ears registered the shrieking of the main cockpit alarm. The cabin tilted sharply as the jet banked to the south.

"Stay there!" she barked at the two boys. Clinging to the headrest of her seat with one hand, she released her restraints. She hauled herself along the aisle and stayed low until she reached the pilot's seat where Wally was sprawled across the console. He was rolling off and down to the far side of the cabin as she reached him.

She pushed him back into the seat and off the yoke that his shoulder was pushing out of place. Fighting to maintain her own balance, she righted the yoke -- knowing enough about flight to ensure that the jet remained straight and level – before belting him in. She pulled the four-point harness over his shoulders to hold up his barely conscious body.

"Bart," she said, trying to keep the unbidden panic from rising in her voice, "His collision with the console has damaged some of the controls." She sat in the co-pilot's seat and grasped the yoke, still holding straight-and-level. It was the only thing about powered flight that she knew.

The radio clamored for her attention. "Tango-Juliet One, this is Salt Lake Center. You've deviated from your flight path. Is there a problem? Over."

With her free hand, she rammed the free headset onto her ear. She tried to remember the code words that the other Titans used when they piloted.

"Center, this is Tango-Juliet One. Our pilot was injured during some turbulence and is unable to take command. I require assistance."

There was no reply.

"I think the outgoing-speaker-thingie was damaged," Conner said.

There were few times that she wished to return to her emotionless state; as she pushed down the rising alarm in her throat, she realized that this was one of those times.

"I am declaring an emergency," she replied.

Static answered her.

"Raven," Connor asked, nervousness flowing from him. "Are you certified to fly this thing?"

"No, Connor, I am only certified to fly – fly myself." She punched a few buttons on the radio while fighting to keep the jet on a straight path. "Tango-Juliet One to anyone listening. Our pilot is injured. We require assistance."

Only static hung in the air.

_I could take it into my soul-self, _ she thought, _but I have no idea how to shut it down once inside to transport us home. _

Bart's eyes widened. "Can we make it back to the tower? Can we land? Anywhere?"

"Not unless we learn how to fly this thing in the next thirty seconds," Superboy said. "Or I could just get out and push—"

"Bad idea," Bart replied. "You'd depressurize the cabin as soon as you opened the door!"

_There is one way_, she thought. _No time to decide. I do not want to do this but . . ._

"Bart," Raven began while fighting with the yoke, "have you any flight experience at all? I could get us somewhere safe, but we cannot just abandon the plane. We are over a populated area."

"That's one book I haven't read yet," Bart replied.

_The only other option is clear. I must, _she concluded.

"Then there is only one choice." Without further hesitation, she leaned over the unconscious Flash. She gently laid a gloved hand on her old love's bloody brow.

"Forgive me, Wallace."

She took the yoke with her other hand.

"Raven, what the hell are you doing?"

"Learning how to fly."

Connor gave her a new look of admiration. "Whoa, she's not a Vulcan -- she's frickin' _Neo_!"

She released the unconscious speedster and placed her other hand on the yoke.

"Bart, please take him to the sick bay. You know what to do." Her voice had taken on a new calm. She felt herself, distant, accessing the knowledge from their pilot.

Bart clicked his tongue as he winked at her. He unfastened the Flash's seat belt. "Hey, I'm the king of first aid, baby. You just keep flyin'."

He pulled his cousin's arm around his shoulders.

"And don't worry, Raven. If he gets mad about this – I've got your back."

She nodded, barely able to speak with the new information flooding its way into her mind. She had to dive into odd scraps of memory and thought to locate what she needed – the skills to pilot the jet to the ground with its occupants intact. Old emotions – many aimed at her -- bubbled up to meet the young empath. As painful as it was, she sorted through the mental chaff until the knowledge appeared, bright and clear.

She drew it to her, narrowing her focus on it alone, not wanting to see the other parts of his mind, and not wanting to invade his life again.

Restraints dug into her shoulders as more turbulence assaulted the wounded jet. Her teeth rattled as the entire cabin shook; it was riding the rapids of the sky like a raft in white water. She shut out the shouts of alarm coming from the bay in the back – _Bart can take care of things there._

Her hands and fingers flew over the console with deliberate and mechanical movements, as if Wally's mind were pulling the strings on her muscles. Suddenly, the meaning behind the bank of numbers and lights on the console _meant_ something to her. The knowledge now appeared unbidden, showing what to examine and to discard; what was important and what was trivial: altitude, fuel levels, airspeed, pitch. _Exactly_ how to bank and turn and clear the turbulent storm embracing them. What frequency to squawk to alert the tower of their position. What squawk _meant_.

A single cold stream of sweat meandered down the side of her face and dripped onto her cloak. The facts, the experience and the knowledge inundated her mind, creating new synaptic trails as they went. A strong pulse beat out a rhythm in her temples, and she knew she'd have a roaring headache when this was all over.

The yoke was no longer a foreign instrument; it was an extension of her body. Every shudder and every squeal held meaning as if the jet were speaking to her. A slight shock accompanied the new awareness as the bits of data parked themselves into the correct places in her brain.

"You okay, Raven?" Connor's voice drifted in over the ringing in her ears.

"Connor – please—I must –"

At that moment, the nose of the jet pierced the storm and sailed into a night-blue sky.

"Hey, sweetheart!" A familiar voice broke out over the static-ridden speaker as the sun began to shine across the land in front of them. The radio was not completely dead. "Caught your squawk, guys. Everything all right? Over."

Her mechanical voice echoed across the headset. "Garfield. The Flash is wounded. I am piloting."

"Holy – okay, Rave. How are you –-"

"I am borrowing the knowledge."

A tense silence eked into her ear. "You tapped him, didn't you?"

"I had no choice."

"Hoooo-kay. We'll deal with that later. Let's just get you guys on the ground."

"We are fifteen minutes away, present course and speed. Please contact Salt Lake Center for us so they are aware of our situation. We are out of contact with them."

"Opening the hangar bays for you, darlin'. You need me to talk you in?"

"Just stay with me. I believe things are well under control."

_How easy it suddenly was, this thing called piloting, this skill that had been something I have avoided for so long, _she thought _No wonder Wallace loves it so._

Bart's voice called over the intercom: "Are we there yet?"

A giggle, unbidden, bubbled up through her chest. "We are arriving at the tower just now. Switching to V.T.O.L. on my mark. Hold on, gentlemen."

(break)(break)

Raven hung her head over the console. Exhaustion crept into the sides of her vision as the expected headache began to pound ever deeper into her skull. All she wanted to do was to find her Garfield and ask for some of his "cuddle therapy". The sharper ache on her forehead reminded her that, even though they had landed safely, her job for the day was not yet complete.

She followed Connor to the sick bay, where Bart was already unstrapping Wallace from the medical couch.

"Thanks for getting us home, Raven," Bart said softly.

She rested one weary hand on his shoulder. "You are welcome, Bart. Thank you for your help, as well."

She released him and leaned over the other young man. Painful memories of other times that she had stood over him rattled in her mind, but she pushed them away to tend to the present. One touch to his face opened the door to his pain, and she siphoned it away from him and into herself. Her own skin in cracked open in mimicry of his wound, and then resealed itself in a heartbeat. Her head wobbled a moment as it pushed that pain away and past the still-shimmering network of newly constructed roads in her mind.

She peeled her eyes back open to check on Wallace's condition…

…and met his bright eyes smoldering back at her.

(break)(break)

A/N:

I do not own any elements of _Star Trek_, _Star Wars_, or the _Matrix_.

I have seen Raven demonstrate this "Knowledge Tap" at least once before, in _The New Titans _ #6 (1990), page 30. The Titans are on Tamaran. Raven's soul self catches up with a moving enemy ship, puts the two pilots to sleep, and uses their thoughts to guide the craft to a landing. Pretty cool. I thought it would be neat to do it again – and have to do it to the last person she needs to do that to.

V.T.O.L Vertical Take Off and Landing. This is a propulsion system that allows the Titans to use the jet from the tower without having a runway.

Bart's "samurai" comment is related to my one-shot fanfic, "Stair Luge Samurai".


	8. Chapter 8

Nadir – Chapter 8

Roy Harper flicked the flight on the back of the dart with his thumb while he tried to avoid Nightwing's gaze. It was yet another time he found himself wishing he could keep his mouth shut. Starfire's mane of hair curled into the corner of his vision as he leaned back in his chair to place the dart back down on the table behind him.

"Listen, Dick, all I did was call you to gossip a little bit. I didn't mean to start a—"

"This is serious, Roy."

"Serious? You had to call an emergency meeting just because Gar traded in his teddy bear for a better model?"

"Roy!" Starfire snipped. "Nobody said they were—"

"You know what I mean."

Starfire glanced from one man to the other. "_I_ think she really loves him."

"You knew about this, Kori? And you didn't tell me?"

"She talked to me about it weeks ago. Why should I run and tell everyone else her business?" She lowered her eyebrows at Dick. Solid green eyes studied her former lover. "You know her heart is innocent."

"I know you're close to her, Kori. But innocent? Like when she made me kiss her?"

Roy's eyes bulged in his sockets. "_You_ kissed _Raven_?" He slapped his knee as deep rolls of laughter gurgled in his chest. "That's _rich_."

Starfire glared at Dick. "I thought it was a misunderstanding that the three of us had cleared up years ago. Privately."

"She pushed me with her powers."

"Hey!" Roy's laughs evolved into deep rolling guffaws. "That's the kind of misunderstanding I'd like to have!"

Kori and Dick both stabbed him with their eyes as he tumbled out of his chair and onto the ground, fighting for breath through a full-out giggle-fit. He clutched his stomach, panting, trying to clear his head of the image of Dick and Raven.

He slapped the floor as another tsunami of cackles swept over him. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, sighing, as he sat up again.

Dick responded through clenched teeth. "You just don't get it, Roy--"

"What's to get?" He hooted. He wiped more tears from his wet eyes. "Hoooo! So you kissed her. So, maybe she seduced you into it. Like _that's_ never happened to you before, Dickie-boy. The fact that the fairer sex tends to swoon over you ain't exactly the lead story on _Superheroes Tonight_, brother Besides, Dick, it was a _kiss_, for Pete's sake, not a flying side-kick."

"Why do you always have to be such a jerk? Her powers are _dangerous_."

"Why are _you_ being such an ass? She's a sweet, pretty girl that got the hots for you. Maybe she just wanted you to like her so bad that her powers got the better of her. You make a little kiss sound like a nuclear war."

Nightwing scratched his chin. "…should have seen this coming…"

"You're turning a speed bump into Mount Everest, buddy."

"…need to set up a meeting…"

Starfire frowned at him. "You'll do no such thing. You're going to leave. Them. Alone. Or you _will_ get that flying side-kick. From me."

Arsenal leaned all the way back in his chair as he stretched and yawned. "So, how was that smooch anyways?"

"I get the point, Roy!"

Nightwing stormed out of the room. Roy leaned back further to observe his figure retreating down the hallway.

The archer swayed his face over to watch Starfire shake her head.

"And I'll have to ask Raven what she ever saw in _him_," he muttered softly.

(break)(break)

A/N:

I just love Roy Harper. Arsenal just cracks me up.

For those of you unfamiliar with the comics: the Outsiders is a sister-group to the Titans. It is made up of former members of the Titans (like Starfire, Nightwing and Arsenal) and Infinity, Inc. (like Jade). There are some other members that were never affiliated with either group. They team up with the Titans quite often. The two groups are very close-knit.

And here we see the long-awaited aftermath of the infamous "Wing Fling", from the Wolfman-Perez days (issues #36 – 39, Baxter series). Raven developed a deep crush on Dick after he took care of her when they were both captives of Brother Blood (Senior, not the current one). She unwittingly used her powers to get him to kiss her. He was a little paranoid about it then, but seemed to mostly get over it. I always thought some deep thought would linger over it, though. And I thought that deep thought would surface once she got attached to someone he actually knew.

He does seem a little bit of a jerk, here. I use that as a reflection of how he's appeared in the comics over the past year or so. I hope that with OYL over in the comics he starts being the _nice_ Dick Grayson that I loved when I was younger.


	9. Chapter 9

Nadir – Chapter 9

Footsteps echoed through the hangar as the four harried passengers staggered down the ramp of the jet. Raven could feel the heat of silent anger roiling behind her. She fought to keep her eyes off the floor, to keep her head high instead of sinking it into her cowl as she so desperately wanted to do.

_There was no other way, _she reminded herself. Her eyes caught the welcome sight of a lime-green panther loping towards her.

"You did it again, didn't you?" The Flash's anger was no longer silent.

The taste of his fury rolled through her mouth. She halted mid-stride to turn and face its source.

"Look, Raven." Wally's finger stabbed the air between them, but his sharp anger pierced her even more deeply, like a knife slicing its way into her heart. "Stay away from my mind, do you hear me? I've had enough of you messing around up there. Just _stay away_."

Gar, in his human form, stepped between them. His own rage at the speedster was on the verge of boiling over. "Back off, Flash. She saved your _life_. Isn't that worth _something_ to you?"

She saw Bart stand up out of the corner of her eye, mouth open, ready to say something. She could sense his blend of caution and annoyance mixing with the heat flaring around them. Every word pushing out of their mouths was a blow to her, bruising her already weary spirit.

_No, my old friend, please, no more anger. No more. My first friend, this cannot go on…_

She pulled on Garfield's shoulder with a shaking gloved hand. "Please, both of you, stop this. It is over…"

"No, it's not over. Not by a long shot. What else are you going to do to me, Raven? Making me fall in love with you and then tearing my heart out and using it for a hockey puck just wasn't enough, was it? Now you've got your claws into Gar? When is it going to stop?"

"When are _you_ gonna stop?" Gar growled. She saw the tiny signs of a budding transformation in Beast Boy – the tightening of his jaw, the sharpening of his fangs, the lengthening of the short body hairs on his arm, the narrowing of his pupils…

"Guys!" Bart shouted. "This is—"

"Shut up, Bart," Wally yelled over his shoulder. "I'm getting you out of here before she turns her little charms on _you_."

"Enough!" Raven shrieked at both them. "The past is past. I am not charming _anyone_. Wallace, please, just go—"

He aimed his sharp gaze at Beast Boy, whose partial transformation had made him more menacing than human or tiger alone could be.

"And you'd better get out of here, Gar, before she's got little four-eyed green demons biting at your ankles!"

_No more, no more,_ her soul murmured within her, each thought behind their words piercing her like fire and steel. _Beloved, the animal within you protecting his mate is taking you over—I cannot—_

The green were-beast's claws lunged forward and the speedster's fist slashed through the air in a crimson blur.

The last thing Raven remembered as she tried to prevent their collision was the sickening snap of bone and an aching, splintering darkness as she was caught between the horns of two raging bulls.

(break)(break)

Static and darkness took turns dancing across her field of vision. Sound faded in and out of her ears as she struggled to return to consciousness.

_Burning hand on my shoulder, from above_. _On the floor. Cold._

"—both of you," a voice ordered. "Just get back. Don't touch her." _Deep voice, authority and firmness radiating from it. _

_Victor. In charge. What…_

A seed of pain germinated in her teeth as the faint metallic taste of blood crept across the roof of her mouth. A soft chant whirred in the background behind the voices.

"Oh, God –" another, younger voice. "– think you guys – her jaw, I think it's broken." Every word that penetrated the haze smothering her head ricocheted off the sides of her skull.

_Something is wrong_, her soulself whispered. _Not right. You should know better than to get between two boys fighting. You silly girl._

"—in shock –" the younger voice said again. _Bart._ She felt a weight pressing across her body. "–keep her warm – hospital --"

The sharpness of blood was now a red flower in her mouth, unfolding as she got closer and closer to the waking world. The chant was growing louder as the flower opened. A muffled groan escaped her throat as she tried to speak.

A heavier hand pressed on her other shoulder. _Hard, solid ridges_. _Cyborg's hand._ "Don't try to talk, witch. You're hurt. We think your jaw's broken. Just open your eyes if you're awake."

Her eyelashes, as heavy as stone, kept her vision in the darkness. The static sputtered and died as her eyes finally let in the harsh light around her, allowing her to see the worried faces of Bart and Victor floating over her. Her hand, wobbly and weaving, found its way to the silvery hand on her shoulder and rested on its knuckles. The searing overhead light and the blooming metallic taste in her mouth forced water to sprout around her eyelids.

"I know it hurts, darlin'," he whispered to her.

"Just heal it, Raven. Just heal it." Wally's diatribe still hadn't ended.

_I can't, you idiot,_ she heard her soul-self rail at him, _the bone has to be set first, or it will heal incorrectly. _ It rattled in her skull, wanting to be free to…

"_Can_ you heal it, honey?" Vic's voice was soft, fatherly.

She tried to shake her head, only to have the ricocheting words in her head squeal and shriek and bounce off the base of her neck. Bart's hands turned her head slightly to the side and held her temples still.

"Don't move your head, Raven," he warned, a gentle concern radiating from his hands. "I just don't want you to choke. Don't talk. Just tap Cyborg's hand twice for 'no'. Once for 'yes'."

Her fingertip, motioning as a scratch more than a tap, was still enough of a double movement to communicate.

She could hear Garfield's screeching in the background. She could feel his anger and hear the violence screaming in his skull. The water forming at the edge of her eyelid wormed its way out of her lashes and streamed down the edge of her cheek as the pain started to overflow her senses again. The unbidden tear trickled down Bart's knuckles as he continued to keep her head still.

"I think it's like with me, Vic," the young speedster guessed. "We gotta get it set before she can heal it. Just like with my knee, you know, when the Terminator shot me? It needs guiding. We need to get her to a hospital. We can't do that here."

Her fingernail made a soft clicking sound as she tapped it once against Cyborg's knuckle.

(break)(break)

The sharp tang of disinfectant and the distant flavor of pain filled her senses; it seemed to have done so too often of late. Her jaws creaked with stiffness as she worked them open and closed. She winced.

"I know having a bone set is never fun, even if you do get it healed right after, Rave. You're gonna be okay, kiddo." Cyborg rested a heavy hand on her shivering shoulder. "Let's get you home. Gar's waiting for you."

"Why did he not come with you? I do not –"

"I made him stay behind so Superboy could calm him down. He wasn't really happy with Wally after – after what happened. He was too hot for me to let him come. Anger – anger just doesn't help you out when you need to heal, is all."

"Wallace –"

"Don't you worry about him. Bart's giving him a dressing-down as we speak. I couldn't tell who was madder, him or Gar!" He draped the deep blue cloak about her shoulders.

"But I do understand his anger. I invaded his mind… again –"

"You ain't done nothin' wrong, sister. Bart told me you told him to strap in before you hit that turbulence. He just wouldn't listen. The guy's never grown out of being a hothead, ever. And you had no co-pilot. You did what you had to do, and I'm glad you did it. Wally'll just have to get over it. Maybe he will when he realizes you saved his life."

(break)(break)

"You _broke_ her _jaw_, Wally." Bart's words were stained with anger of his own. "I cannot believe you just did that! Gar's ready to tear your throat out."

"It was an accident, Bart. I didn't mean to hit _her_—"

"No, but you _did_ mean to hit Gar. _That_ was not an accident. And _that_ wasn't a regular punch you were throwing there, cuz. That was a super-speed punch you were throwing square into him. If she hadn't stepped in, you would've broken his entire face, or worse. Then she'd be healing him and be hurting anyway, whether you actually hit her or not. Or if he'd connected with you, she'd have to heal you both. As it is, she just caught the side of it. And she was already feeling bad enough about tapping your memories."

"Feeling bad?" Wally snorted. "Not likely." He paced the floor, shuffling at such a speed that tendrils of smoke waved from the carpet. "Why do I feel so – so – furious? I don't understand it."

Bart knew his cousin well enough to hear the subtle vibration of concern and anxiety in his voice. _I may not have been around when you were chasing after her, _Bart thought, _but I can tell you're more worried than you're letting on._

"Why am _I_ having to be the adult here? Wally, if that's what you think, then you've never known Raven very well. But I don't believe you think that. Not really. You're just angry, is all. You know, everything was fine until you didn't belt in like she asked you to."

The question brought up by his recent trip to the past rumbled around in Bart's head: Would showing Wally what really happened when he first met Raven break the spell that was grasping him? _Should_ it break the spell?

The determination in his eyes forged into steel as his mind came to a conclusion.

"Come with me, Wally," he said. "You really need to see something. We're taking a little trip down Amnesia Lane."

(break)(break)

A/N:

The "trip into the past" is the little field trip that Bart made in the previous story in this series, "Coyote".

Poor Wally. He's not having a good day. He did throw a punch himself to "defend her honor" to Robin when the team first got together in the Wolfman-Perez days (W-P #3, first series). He's never really forgiven Raven for the little love spell. His feelings about her have flip-flopped ever since. When the team rescued her from the clutches of Brother Blood (senior) after the final battle with Trigon, he was kind to her (_New Teen Titans_ second series/Baxter #29 – 31 Thanks to artificial-smile on deviantArt for the research).

I took both incidents and blended them to make his reaction for this story. He's ok, just a little nervous at first, until she has to reach into his mind again. It's kind of the last straw for him. Poor Wally. Poor Raven.

The last time that I know Raven and Wally interacted was during the _Technis Imperative_ (JLA/Titans crossover). He was ok (not great but ok) at first, but there was a tiny bit of hostility later in that story on his part. If anyone knows of any interaction they had after that, please let me know. It would have an effect on this story, for sure.


	10. Chapter 10

Nadir – Chapter 10

A verdant pine forest's carpet of graying wood and emerald needles was broken only by a wide hidden expanse of water at its heart. The lake and the great house of stone driven into the earth beside it ruled over a swath of open liquid sky. The blue-white reflection of the vanishing day across its rippling waves brought a swell of peace to the heart of the young man who surveyed its great span. He breathed in the woody scent of pine and cedar and allowed a sense of rest to seep into his bones.

"You are certain of this, Mother?"

The man with the moon-colored face looked away from the crimson-robed woman who knelt to his side. Trembling fingers clutched at the blood-colored cloth as she tried to steady her hands against her knees.

"Yes, Sebastian. All of your flock have been searching for your bride since your disappear—um -- pilgrimage. Searching, and praying for your return."

"And we have Brother Betterman to thank for this knowledge."

His pink eyes focused on the sunset in the distance. The call of a loon drifted over the lake and into the compound, harmonizing with the hum of crickets that were welcoming the deep of the evening.

"Clever thought, to transmit our findings out in the open like that. And very good for my coffers, as well."

Two razor-sharp teeth crept out from between his smiling lips. Muscular hands, more expansive than they were when they had last seen daylight, gripped the railing of the balcony.

"So," he replied in a deep rolling voice, "San Francisco."

An earth-dyed robe draped across his marbled features. He loosened its belt and drank in the cooling air that washed over his ivory skin. It felt good to be clean after so long, to dive into a long bath to wash the sweat of hell itself from his fully grown form--sweat and pebbles and desert dust. He held the image of his bride in his mind's eye, imagining her there with him, imagining the silky feel of the skin he had gifted to her caressing the flesh he now exposed to the night. He closed his eyes against to world, trying to make that flesh of his fantasies real.

"Years have passed by for me, Mother, while only months have passed for her." He returned his gaze to the water. "Her hair will have grown a bit, though, won't it, Mother? She'll be beautiful for me, won't she?"

She did not answer, had not really expected her to. He raised his palm to the darkening sky as if to grasp the stars that were starting to emerge. The strength in his body still fascinated him, the strength that had borne him out of the canyon where he had emerged from his sojourn of flame and smoke.

"Tell me again," the woman finally responded in a shaking voice, "how you have returned to us."

"A powerful man died in the great desert, Mother, one who had more power than he knew. He opened a door when he passed into the afterlife – one that I could see. By Trigon's grace, I crossed through that same doorway and back into the wilderness before it could close forever." He shivered with the memory of dodging through the shards of rock and brush in the canyon, fleeing from the sun that scorched his moon-kissed skin. "A man strong in spirit. I felt his strength as I passed through the door. We must discover who he was, Mother. Perhaps he has family like him…"

He stretched his arms high above his head again. The delight of returning to this safe-house, secreted in the woods by one of his forefathers, was a balm to him. He was back on Earth now, back from Hell itself. Back to claim his wife.

"Raven _is_ my bride, but in name only. I will change that, if Trigon wills. I'll bring her back here, to us. To her true family. Away from her captors. Away from those who would poison her against us. Against _me_." He turned away from the fading sky and faced Mother Mayhem once more. "I have dreamed of her for years. She'll be mine again before the week is out, Mother. And our child will be with us within the year."

He tightened the robe around him once more and strode back into the house of stone. "Prepare my flock for prayer. I leave for California tonight."

(break)

A/N:

Heeeeee's baaaaaaaaack! Brother Blood, also known as Sebastian (and to the members of the RBSU as "Junior"), was introduced early in the Geoff Johns TT. He is shown as a 13-year-old young man with albino features. He is the one that created a new body for Raven, captured her in her Golden Spirit Form, and forced her into the new body. In the "Raven Rising" arc (GJ TT, #8-12), he "married" her with the intention of producing a child that would bring about the end of the world. It was also revealed in this arc that the "god" worshipped by the Church of Blood was actually Raven's father, Trigon. Raven broke free of his control. Her soul self sent him (still alive) to Hell.

It seems like Junior escaped shortly after Thunder Horse died, eh? And he grew up in his time away.

Brother Blood has used members of the media before. In the Wolfman-Perez days, Blood (Senior) had a press member in Bethany Snow, who hosted "Snow Storm". I think there was also a newspaper column. Both were points from which he could launch public relations attacks against the Titans.


	11. Chapter 11

Nadir – Chapter 11

"Bart," Wally said, his voice blending in with the howling wind. "What in the name of all that's fast are we doing _here_? You said we'd be visiting _my_ past."

"Exactly," Bart replied, pushing him down behind the icy boulder. "Now stay down, or you'll see you. We're closer than I was last time, so maybe I'll hear more--"

"But I've never been here before. I'd remember a place like this."

"Yes, you have, and no, you don't. Just hold on and _stay down_. Any second now…"

A familiar whirring roar rippled through the air as a crimson-and-gold blur solidified into a much younger Wally. The older Wally's eyes nearly bounced out of their sockets as he recognized his own coppery hair in his old Kid Flash uniform.

"But--" He was cut off by a jab to the ribs from Bart.

"_Listen," _Bart hissed into his ear.

The younger Wally was gritting his teeth into the howling blizzard. Misery was emblazoned across his eyes as they danced with an adrenalin shine.

"…_**You can't know what it's like having these powers," he was muttering to the mountain. "They're beyond explaining, Nath. With them i-it's like I can do anything."**_

"Nath? But that was—"

Another jab to his ribs silenced him.

"…_**faster and faster!"**_

**_The young man was stumbling on the snow-flooded slope, one faltering step after another. His uniform was no protection against the wrath of the Himalayan heights. His hard shivering drove to his knees as the snow grew deeper around him._**

**_He raised his face to the gray ceiling and stretched his arms out to the sky. "Nothing feels as good as earth or stone or macadam blurring under your feet like it's not even there. Nothing. Not even…"_**

_**His hands dropped to his sides and his head snapped back as if to scream. Instead, his hoarse whisper could barely be heard by the eavesdropping pair – "Oh God. Oh, dear God."**_

**_As if some sky-bound strings had been cut away from his shoulders, he collapsed backwards into the snow bank, moaning that sick sound that crawls out of someone when an illusion finally collapses._**

"_**It was me. I chased you away. I chased everyone away just so I could…run." Icy flakes began to make little mountains of their own on his chest, his legs, his face. He didn't seem to notice his body-shaking shivers growing more violent, and then, less violent. "Wh-what have I done?"**_

_**The blizzard drove the ice even harder down on the fallen figure. "I don't want to feel all this pain anymore," he cried. His voice grew so faint that Wally could barely hear him.**_

"**_I—I don't want to feel anything anymore." _**

Wally watched his younger self in stunned silence. _I remember Nathalie. I remember breaking up with her, and why. But I don't remember doing this. Suicide by snowstorm?_

"Bart, how did I—"

"Shhhhhh," he hissed again. "She'll hear you."

"She?"

Bart pointed at the icy sculpture of his cousin. The violent shivering had stopped completely. There was no movement of his chest underneath the snowy blanket. Bart mouthed the word "watch".

_**A lone gray figure appeared over the lip of the outcropping, one wrapped in layers so thick that no face could be seen. Gray shone in the white. The stranger struggled through the snow to the icing, dying man and knelt down beside him. Gloved hands swept snow off Wally's chest. From his perspective, he could not see the person's face.**_

_No,_ Wally thought. _Who?_

**_The figure worked quickly to dislodge the snowy grave building around the fallen man. The hands moved across his face, his chest, looking for signs of life in an all-too-familiar pattern._**

_**And then, the figure spoke.**_

**She_ spoke._**

"_**I thought love was supposed to free you," she said quietly. She leaned over him, both hands on his chest now, her face directly over his. **_

That elegant profile was gazing down at his fallen body that lay six yards away.

The crisp, clean, subtly British accent, with a teasing hint of a Gotham City inflection, was unmistakable.

"Raven?" he whispered, his hand reaching towards her. Bart pulled him back down.

"**_Why does it make you hurt so much?" She asked the still young man. She leaned closer, close enough to kiss him if she wanted, her hands cradling either side of his face, her thumbs lightly caressing his eyebrows. She had found her flicker of life, and she was trying to fan it back into a flame. Those clear, innocent eyes were scanning his face, almost as if she were studying him, as if she had never seen someone like him before._**

"_**No…" she finally spoke again. "No. Ours will not be love."**_

Wally's eyebrows shot up, stinging snow mixing with the water gathering in his eyes. The wind howled in his ears like some forlorn coyote.

"_**But to move past his pains, it needs to be." **_

**_She slid her gray-clad legs back and away from him. One arm dug into the snow beneath him and lifted his head and shoulders off the ground. She rested one glowing cheek on his forehead and cradled him close, like a mother would a child, like a lover… _**

"_**Come to me, Wallace West," she called to him, a smooth affection in her voice that he did not ever remember hearing her use. She pulled him even closer. "Feel my warmth. Come to me." **_

_**The man in her arms stirred, groaning, and movement returned to his gloved hands. His shivering was returning.**_

"_**W-who?"**_

_**She stroked his cheek with her palm. "You were frozen…dying."**_

_**His shivering arrested his reply for a moment. She pulled him forward onto his knees and then stood herself. Never quite letting him go, she took his hand and helped him to his feet.**_

"_**B-but where did you come from?"**_

_How did she find me?_ Wally asked himself. _I didn't know who she was, yet. Was this before—before -- why don't I remember?_

"_**Come…warm yourself by my fire," she said. Her words were so inviting and accepting.**_

**_She walked ahead of him, still holding his hand, helping him wade through the knee-deep snow over to the next outcropping._ **

Bart and Wally slightly shifted their positions to both watch the moving pair and warm their nearly frozen legs..

_**As the golden rosy glow of the fire began to reflect off of his face, he exclaimed, "I didn't see a fire before."**_

_**She turned her face to him, an unfamiliar smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I needed to come here, to be alone with my thoughts."**_

_**She assisted the still half-frozen man in sitting down in the circle of the fire's warmth. All the while, her hand never left his.**_

Wally watched himself watching her, his eyes never leaving her face. He knew that look – that look he had seen on other young men so many times.

**_His free hand covered the hand she held, cradling hers between his own. They sat in silence, watching the flickering flames and feeling the heat of it soak into them. Snowflakes danced in the air around them, each melting as it entered the sphere of light. The firelight reflected off that familiar red stone on her forehead, which just barely peeked out from beneath the furry little hat framing the top of her face and holding back the tangled mass of black hair from her eyes._**

_**She turned to him and studied his face once more, again as if he were a fascinating creature that was totally alien to her. Attractive, but alien.**_

"_**Do you know what it is to be in pain?" she finally asked.**_

"_**Tell me about it," he replied in a commiserating tone. "They ever do a telethon, I'll be the poster boy."**_

**_A strange look walked across her eyes for the briefest of moments, one that only someone who knew her well might have even glimpsed._ **

_Poor kid, _Wally thought, forgetting his anger at Raven for a brief moment,_ she wasn't about to admit that she'd never heard of telethons. Or televisions, for that matter. Or posters. I wonder if she even knew about boys._

_**But still, she smiled gently once the look had passed, as if she knew exactly what he meant. She had a story of her own to tell. The conversation continued at a faster clip, as if they had suddenly known each other for years.**_

"_**At home I am different from all the others."**_

"_**Never understood," he nodded back.**_

"**_Even in a crowd," she replied, " I always feel so…"_**

"…**_alone?" He finished her sentence and looked straight into her eyes._ **

From all the time he had known Raven, Wally could not recall ever seeing such a look on her: wide-eyed, hopeful, affectionate and open. Even from his viewpoint, he could feel the near-chemical reaction between these two strangers, burning hotter than the kindling fueling the fire in front of them.

**_His hand released hers and brushed softly against her chin just below her lips._**

And he watched another thing he had never seen before --

**_Raven leaned forward, eyes closing gently, hands touching his shoulders, the skin between those closed eyes nearly brushing against the tip of his nose, the need to touch that broadcast from her was almost palpable._**

_Did she kiss me? _Wally wondered, almost bursting from behind the rock to ask them what in the world they were doing, ready to ask them if they were going to kiss.

_**The young woman was shivering, maybe from the wind, maybe from the closeness of this young man whose life she had just saved. She leaned even closer…**_

…**_and rested her fingertips on his lips, hanging her head, nearly biting her own lip in either shame or restraint, it was hard to tell. "We…should descend the mountain. I…cannot hide from my life here, can I?"_**

**_The young man's eyes shone again, but not from adrenalin this time. One drop of water coalesced at the bottom of his eye as he brushed his crimson glove across the back of her hair. "No . . . _we_ can't." He was choking on the words. _**

**_With a resigned, weak smile, she withdrew from his hands, walking backwards over to the snow bank. She used a few handfuls of snow to extinguish the fire. It sputtered and died as it choked on the melting white mass. As she gestured to him to come to the side of the outcropping, he stumbled again. _**

"**_Great!" he yelped. "My leg's frozen…" He limped a few steps and grabbed his thigh. "Hurts." His leg collapsed beneath him, and he tumbled into the deep pile of white once more. _**

_**She rushed over, kneeling by him, this time her hands on the injured leg. "I have been taught that pain is all in the mind," she said, looking from his knee to his eyes and then his knee again. "If you allow for hope, pain will go away."**_

**_The touch was simple, no movement, no light, no glow. Just a touch. The young man's eyes were riveted to her in utter disbelief. "What are you doing? It's feeling better."_**

But the older Wally knew what she had done and where that pain had gone -- deep into her petite form.

_**He was able to stand on his own now. She beckoned to him once more, and showed him a pair of climbing ropes dangling down the steep face of the mountain. She handed him one rope and began heaving herself down backwards, showing him how to follow her. **_

"_**Perhaps you no longer need to feel your hurts." She shouted over the wind to him as they disappeared over the outcropping. **_

Bart poked him, and he jumped. He had forgotten Bart was even there.

"C'mon, there's an easier way down. It took me several tries to find it, but you need to see the bottom. We can zip down before they—"

"Several tries?"

"Uh, yeah, so watch out for another me running by. C'mon."

The pair whirred down in an instant, hiding behind another boulder while the two shapes lowered themselves through the swirling snowflakes.

_**Her voice carried over the distance.**_

"_**There is nothing if one gives in . . . this way . . ."**_

_**She paused in front of him as he turned from the rope, one booted foot resting on the slope they had just descended, hands resting on her thighs. **_

"**_There's hope?" he asked. "You still haven't told me your name?"_**

**_She smiled again, leaned forward again, a little bolder this time. She cupped his chin in her hand. With shining eyes, she purred, almost in a teasing tone, "You will learn it. Soon enough."_**

_**The acrid scent of brimstone curled around in the air as a puff of black smoke arose from the ground at her feet. **_

"_**Huh?" He asked, still not understanding this strange little woman in front of him. "That smoke? Where's it coming—"**_

"**_Forget…forget…" she chanted, still smiling, until the smoke enveloped her. Then even the smile disappeared from view._**

_**The young man stared at the empty spot until the last curl of smoke evaporated. Then he shook himself, as if waking from a dream. He muttered to himself, something about running in his sleep, and then he too disappeared in his blur of brightly colored costume.**_

The two watchmen were left alone at the foot of the snowy mountain.

"C'mon," Bart said. "Let's get back and talk about this. Hot chocolate's on me."

_The first time I met her, I just _knew_ I had met her before._

_Raven, why didn't you tell me?_

(break)(break)

A/N:

This scene between Wally and Raven took place in _Legends of the DC Universe _#18, written by Marv Wolfman and beautifully penciled by Butch Guice. It was published in July, 1999. It is a sad little story of their very first encounter. I encourage anyone who can find it to pick up a copy. The art is just spectacular.

Nathalia was Wally's girlfriend at the time. Basically, she got upset with him because he was never there (she didn't know he was Kid Flash) and started dating his best friend behind his back. Wally's mad dash across the world to that icy mountain was a result of that fact.

Credit where credit is due: All of the dialog between Wally and Raven belongs to Marv Wolfman. The quotes are taken directly from the comic book. The action is paraphrased from the panels. The parts with the older Wally and Bart are written by me. I have tried to put Mr. Wolfman's text in bold italics to make sure he gets credited for the right things.

I have never heard a comic version of Raven speak, but I imagine her voice and accent would be very different from the cartoon version. Since it was revealed in the current series that Raven's mother was originally from Gotham City, I would suspect that traces of her mother's accent would show up in her speech. Her mother was her teacher for years after the death of Azar, so I'm thinking some of the accent would have rubbed off on her. And I would imagine the Gotham City accent as somewhere between a Chicago accent and a New York accent. However, these are only guesses on my part. There are no indicators in the comic series to indicate what her voice sounds like. I am fond of the wiggly speech balloons that they use for her, though.


	12. Chapter 12

Nadir – Chapter 12

The hallway carpet muffled the footsteps of two figures wandering down its corridor. Gentle light lifted up from recesses along the corridor floor, casting shadows along the valleys of their faces.

"So, even after everything that happened today, you and Vic are still diving in after Joey tomorrow?"

"Yes," Raven replied. "Cyborg found that the file had changed again since yesterday. Before I sleep, I must prepare the barriers to protect my powers from him. We are running out of time. I just hope it is not too late."

"I just don't feel right about it, so soon after Wally— "

Raven's musings found the air, "Wallace's anger with me is not entirely unjustified."

"It's completely unjustified!" Gar said. "You save his ass, and then he takes a swing at me. And you take the hit for me – I just can't – "

"His anger was worse than the blow. He's carried that anger with me for many years now. He wasn't entirely in control of himself. It was not his intention to hit me."

"And of course you would still think he was a good guy, even after all of that," her green companion muttered.

She paused mid-stride. Solemn eyes gazed up at him. "You are _both_ good men."

He stepped closer to her, draping his arms around her petite figure. Without hesitation, she nestled like a fragile bird against his chest. Nuzzling her forehead with his nose, he droned in a low voice, "You think I'm a man." A sweet happiness laced with a honey flavor purred around them as he repeated that over and over into her ear: "You think I'm a man."

She tilted her head back to look up at him. The ache in her jaw was fading into the distant recesses of her mind. Rose petal lips brushed against his with the gentlest of touches and dropped a single word into his mouth: "Yes."

The next sweep against his mouth got caught in a tender press – a pressure that deepened as he leaned further into her. Her massive cloak rolled up against him. Grunting and humming, he unclasped it from her shoulders and released it behind her head. The muffled whishing of the fabric folding onto the floor danced around her ears while she sought his mouth again. He only broke the contact long enough to pant hoarsely: "Ever since – that night – ohhhh, that night at Charlie's – I've wanted – wanted…"

His fierce tongue traced a stripe across her teeth, halting her gasps at the furious river of emotions Something clicked somewhere between his lingering anger and her phantom pain. The passion blossoming inside of him bled in great waves into Raven. Impressions of her dream from before drenched her senses as his passion rippled across her skin. It drew her back into him, moving her against him in that same tense rhythm that was sounding in his head. His zeal blended with her yearning for touch and human warmth until she could no longer discern whose emotion was whose. Her heart was flying in the fusion of awareness, drinking in his taste like a lily quenching itself in rain.

Her hands clenched at his shoulder blades while he urged her back against the window. Its sudden coolness staggered her breath for a moment. She felt a muscular smile creep across his face at her abrupt cry.

"Feel me, Raven. Just…just feel…_me_," he murmured. One hand stole down from her collarbone and blazed a trail across her torso, lingering one moment against the underside of a captive breast and then sliding down to the bareness of her leg just above her boot.

The other hand cradled the back of her neck, holding her forehead against his. Sharp green eyes gripped her in their view as he studied her clenched eyes, her slack jaw and her heaving breath.

A finger hooked into the top seam of the boot, tugging the leg it encased upward and stretching the other leg up with it. The thigh slipped up and rested on his hip. A faint moan flew out of her throat as his moving waves pushed her harder into the glass that was no longer cold.

"Feel _me_," he groaned. "Stay with _me_."

Her arms spiraled up from his shoulder blades and reached high above him as her neck arched back, sliding down the moist glass behind her hair. She was vulnerable and exposed – and she could not resist. No internal chatter rattled her mind. There was just the torrent of sizzling honey pouring through her around that one barrier in his consciousness – the one he had sworn that, once past, he could not stop. His awareness railed against it as the movements grew firmer, swifter, overloading her awareness with raw unfettered fever. The animal scent of his sweat was overwhelming her.

Images trickled from him, dark images of her, hurt or dead, or just absent, a cold void in her place. Flashes of a tall blond man raced in their shared cloud, a tall man that raced away with Raven in his arms, leaving a green shadow behind in the dust… Burning anger radiated from these images, anger and something else. Some faint flavor lingered in the background that pierced the veil binding them together, forcing their perceptions apart.

She gripped his shoulders, a weak "S-stop" eking out between her teeth.

The word ricocheted off of him and died somewhere in the half-light that shadowed them. A growl swayed him forward, pressing his body deeper into her. The thermal surge coursed through her.

"Stop," she shuddered, her voice finally finding its center. "Please, Garfield, please, we have to…"

His head snapped back, his fangs flashing in the faint light, and a piercing groan raced by her ear. His hands flew off her body as if on fire and slammed against the window, wobbling it in its frame. He drew deep gulps from the air, and she sensed that the war against his mental wall was raging no more.

"Grrrrrrrf." His jungle-wild eyes rolled back for a moment, then closed. Opening once more, they stared silently at the glass above Raven's head. Curious, she glanced at the top of the window, only to see steam evaporating off the glass. She blinked back at Beast Boy, who was finally catching his breath.

The haunting taste at the back her throat was no longer faint.

"Sorry – I'm sorry," he huffed. "I just, just wanted you to feel what I feel, let you know—you're loved—so you don't have to -- don't have to – dive in – don't have to be in danger – "

Realization slammed into her with such force that her shoulders slumped back onto the humid glass. One cold stream of condensation tickled its way down her spine.

"But – our agreement – our questions --you wanted this – this – to stop me from – "

"I just want you to be safe. I just want to know why you're willing to take this awful chance." Gar squeezed his eyes shut. His jaw twitched in response to his clenched teeth. He was still shuddering from their hastily severed link. "You still love him. Don't you? Is that why – why you won't -- "

The bitter-edged taste she had felt from him before rose in her mouth, a drop of bile on her tongue. "Beloved? What are you – what do you mean? Of course I love him, he is my friend, but – "

"But what?"

"Joseph and I were always close. But I was never in love with him. He was always kind to me. But we were not…_involved_."

"Everyone seemed to think you were."

"Everyone thought we _should_ be. That's not the same thing." She grasped his hand more firmly. "Please believe me, Garfield. I love _you_. More than I thought I could ever love someone. But I must do this. I may be the only one who can." She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. Her eyes pleaded with him. "This is the right thing to do. It is my fault he's trapped there on that disk— "

"Your fault?" he moaned. He took her fingers from his face and tightened his palm around them. "Damn it, Raven, stop it. Just stop it. You blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. And I mean _everything_. You'd take the blame for the _Titanic_ sinking if you could. How the hell could Jericho being digitized be your fault?"

Her lower lip trembled. "It started a long time ago, because of me. Because he tried to help me."

"Yeah, I remember he tried to help you right before—before Trigon hijacked your body." His words grew hot. "Joey possessed you while you were asleep. You couldn't stop him. And he did it after you _specifically_ told him not to. And he did it anyway. And he got Trigon's attention. And got you – got you – " He was beginning to sputter. His nostrils flared as she cringed at every angry word. "Maybe we could've helped you if he hadn't – if he'd left you alone, maybe you would've been okay…"

She pressed her palm against his chest, warding off his anger as if it were a physical blow. Her reply was soft. "He only sped up what was inevitable."

"You don't know that. Not for sure. I just…I just don't want to lose you. I don't want to see you get hurt. Or…or…"

"Or have him try to pick up where he left off?" She blinked at him slowly. "Garfield, bringing him back does not mean I will go to him. My heart is _yours_. Please believe that. He is what he is because he tried to help me. I want to help him because it is the right thing to do. Not because I want to be with him."

Resting his hands on her shoulders, he spoke in a low, urgent tone. "Baby, this isn't going to be easy. I know the plan. The last thing I want to see is you blind and -- and bound. I can't stand the thought of him…of him trying to possess you. Of what could happen _this_ time."

"I need your support in this, beloved. Please, I need you— "

"Please, don't do this to yourself. You're just now starting to have some peace. If you love me, _don't do this_."

Her voice shook as she felt his worry and anger wash through her mouth. "If you love me, Garfield, you won't prevent me from doing what I know is right."

He gently pulled his hands back from her shoulders. "I can't." His hoarse whisper was barely audible. "I can't watch you do this to yourself. I can't – I can't take losing you – I can't do this-- I can't -- "

His warmth withdrew back into him as he walked past her, and it trailed behind him as he fled. Its withdrawal was an icy shock to her system, and it froze her to the spot by the darkened window. Several moments later, she was able finally to stagger forward.

She turned to follow, but stopped in her tracks when she felt a barricade spring up between them. Anguish etched across her face as her eyes turned from his empty wake to gaze out the window at the deepening night. The chill crept in through the glass and surrounded her once more. As she felt the wall grow taller, she finally recognized the bitterness that had been leaking from him for the past few days.

_Jealousy._

(break)(break)

Wally leaned against the hand rail of the cosmic treadmill. His knees trembled beneath him. He could still feel the icy wind of the mountain stinging his face, although it was years away from him now.

_Raven, why did you make me forget such a thing?_

"Do you see what I mean now, Wally?" Bart's voice crept up behind him. "Now you know why she did it? Made you fall in love with her? It wasn't just to get you on the team— "

"—it was to save my life." The Flash shook his head. "She – she _did_ love me. She did. But I don't understand. Why'd she make me forget?"

"Maybe it was part of what she did. Maybe she thought it was temporary and that once you forgot, you'd really forget and that'd be the end of it. I don't know."

"Does she know you've – "

"Well, I haven't told her, anyway. Who knows what she really knows?"

"But she could've told me later – when everyone found out – we should've – "

"Honestly, Wally, would you have believed her?"

(break)(break)

Raven, lost in the cheerless labyrinth of her mind, realized after a moment that she was still staring at the window. Her silhouette sliced an outline out of the rolling drops of dew that were starting to reveal the night sky once more. She reached one shaking palm to the glass, wiping away the pouring sweat of a few minutes past.

_I – I cannot feel him. He was nearly one with me a moment ago. And now – _

She pulled her trembling hand back from the blurred view of the bay.

_I cannot feel him at all. Oh, great Azar. Oh, no. No._

_It is – it is finished…_

(break)(break)

Gar leaned against the window of his darkened room. The chill of the glass pressed into his forearm as he gazed at the lights on the bay shores of the tower.

_What do I do? I can't just let her keep jumping in front of trains like this. She's so stubborn. She's so – so_…

His cell phone warbled on his dresser. He glanced at the faint blue glow across the room, and then returned his watchful gaze back out to the darkened water. Other than his phone, the tower was silent. One peek at his watch told him it shouldn't be this quiet now; he should be curled up on the sofa watching something lighthearted and fluffy, not brooding alone in his room.

_But she's probably meditating now, _he thought. _She was gonna do that all night before to set up the blocks so he couldn't teleport away with her. Is she thinking about him? Remembering him? Is she--_

His stomach gurgled at the thought of missing his nightly popcorn.

_I just can't tonight. I just can't—_

The phone trilled again.

"Damn it!" He rushed over to the phone to turn it off. He glanced at the caller identification panel and thought better of not answering. A voice shook the speaker as soon as he pressed _Send_.

"Dude! You never return my phone calls anymore!"

"Sorry, Matt."

"What, are you too busy fighting with your girlfriend to give me a call?"

"Fighting? How did you— "

"I just got off the phone with her. Gar, what are you _thinking_?"

"She called _you_?"

"I was the only other Logan male available. She wanted to know if all men were so, how did she put it, stubbornly protective of their woman. Or was it just you."

"Huh?"

"I told her it was pretty much a guy thing, but seeing as you're both superheroes, you'd get over it. So, I'm calling you to tell you: Get. Over. It."

"She told you what she's going to do?"

"I got the gist of it. Some kinda mystical rescue of some guy you used to know that everybody thought she had the hots for, but it turns out they were kinda like you and Bette when we three lived together."

"Close enough, I guess." Gar scratched his head. _I didn't think about it that way._

"So, what's your problem? You jealous?"

"Matt, I – "

"'Cause that'd be dumb. What are ya, afraid you're not man enough to keep her when he gets back on the scene?"

_Ouch!_ Gar thought. _Ow—ow-- ow…oh. _"Uhhhhh…."

"Or do you just wanna be one of those super-possessive guys and keep her away from any other males? Let me put it to you this way. What if Bette was in trouble? Or Jillian? You think she'd be jealous of _you_ goin' and savin' _them_?"

"I don't –"

"Hell no. Of course she wouldn't. I've met this chick. She'd be the first to volunteer to go with you! Even save them herself if you weren't available. And why, you ask?"

"But— "

"Well, I'll tell you, Gar. She'd do it, not even because she loves you-- even though she does-- but because she's a good person, and that's what good people do. That's what she's doing here. Just the other way 'round, and she needs you to have her back like she'd have yours."

"But why _her_? Can't someone else do the dangerous work for once?"

"This guy's your friend, right?"

"He was— "

"So, she knew him better than most people. I bet no one else that knows him can do this. You can't exactly go down to Rent-A-Mystic and get someone he'd let near enough to talk to him, am I right? Am I right?"

"I guess— "

"Damn straight. So, why are you riding her ass for doing what she does best? If you fell in love with her for _being_ what she is, then why are you being a jerk when she _does_ what she is?"

"You— "

"Not fair to dump her just 'cause she's doing her cosmic duty."

"What the hell?" Gar yelped. "Is that what she thinks? That I broke up with her?" Gar's heart thumped louder in his ears. _That was not what I meant. I just couldn't watch…_

"It's what she's afraid of. If you _didn't_ dump her, you'd better talk to her before she works her voodoo. She's gonna go in and pull the man out of the fire no matter what, but things'll go better if she's got you in her corner. You really curl her toes, man. I'd hate to see you throw something good like that away, if she curls yours. Are you with me, brother?"

Gar couldn't help but smile at that. "I'm with you, brother."

"Okay, now, stop being such a jackass and go suck some face and make up or whatever you need to do. Put on some Barry White albums. That always helps. And if you _don't_ do that, then do one thing for me?"

"What's that?"

"Give me her phone number."

(break)(break)

A/N:

I do realize that you haven't seen the meeting of Matt and Raven. It's in a one-shot that I'm planning that I was not able to get written before I posted this. Darn writer's block. Suffice it to say, at this point their meeting was off-panel. I will get it written at some point, though.

Terror of Trigon – Before Trigon finally took Raven over in the "Terror of Trigon" arc in the Wolfman-Perez days, Joey thought he could help her out by possessing her in her sleep. He wanted to take a look around her consciousness and got more than he bargained for. He encountered Trigon, who nearly destroys Jericho for daring to possess his daughter's body. Raven wakes up enough to free Jericho from her body, but it is the last straw. That action allowed Trigon to completely usurp Raven. Apparently, it also left a door open in Joey that the Azarathians used to later to possess him. This chain of events led to the "Titans Hunt" storyline, which then led to Joey being on a disk. (whew)

Matt - Matt needs to come back! Please, please, please bring him back in the current series! He's too great a character to let fade into oblivion!

Bette – Bette Kane is the hero known as Flamebird. She shows up in the pages of Titans-related stories from time to time. I really love her – she has so much spunk. She is a non-powered "cape" that uses a lot of widgets and gadgets in her crimefighting. For a while, she shared an apartment with Gar and Matt in Los Angeles. She was part of the short-lived Titans L.A.

Jillian – Jillian was Gar's very first friend in school. She was his sweetheart off and on both before and after his time with Terra. I'm not sure where she is now. I think the new Terra, who has a crush on Gar (and she brings a whole new meaning to the word "crush on"), frightened here away. Suffice it to say, she's not in Gar's life now.


	13. Chapter 13

Nadir – Chapter 13

_Even with Rose here this house feels so empty without you, old friend. _Slade mused. His gaze looked through the flames crackling in the fireplace. He did not see the flickering orange light dancing in front of him as he stroked his beard. He did not feel the warmth on his face as he watched from the darkness clinging to the shaggy shadows of trophy animals peering at him from the knotty pine walls. He was wandering the long halls of memory, searching for images of Wintergreen.

_Family killing family. I've killed a lot of people in my time. A lot of people. But it was always business, before. But now, it's personal. _Very_ personal._

_And you're in a place that you can't escape from, Joseph. Not this time._

His eyes turned to study the scabbard on the coffee table beside him. He wrapped a hand around the hilt and slid the sword from its protective cover. He turned the blade in front of him, finally noticing the fire as it reflected off the shining metal.

_I had to kill you once, Joe, with this very blade._ His single blue eye blurred for a moment, and he shut it tight until the moment had passed. _Damned Wildebeests. Damned Azarathians. Why couldn't you just stay dead?_ _Why couldn't you let us both have some peace?_

He glanced at the chair on the other side of the table. Its emptiness gnawed at the edges of his mind.

_Why couldn't you leave me with the one person I could really depend on? _

_Even my Rose is not reliable to me. So she stays here while I hunt you down one last time._

He picked the scabbard up once again.

_Then maybe I'll go back to Africa. Back where I had some sense of…contentment._

_Tomorrow. They may try to do…something…tomorrow._

Without watching his hands, he found the opening of the leather sheath and slid the sword back into its sheath. The satisfaction that he normally felt when the slight sffft sound slipped past his ear rang hollow in his mind.

_One last time...and by sundown tomorrow, this will finally be over._

(break)(break)

A/N: William Randolph Wintergreen was to Slade Wilson as Alfred is to Batman. He is one of my favorite secondary characters in the Titansverse. He and Slade have a long history together. They both served in the military for their respective countries: Slade in the U.S. and Wintergreen for the United Kingdom. They saved each other's lives while in the service. Wintergreen was more than a butler to him, though. Wintergreen hoped to prevent Slade from becoming brutal and callous.

During the "Titans Hunt" storyline, Slade was forced to kill his son Jericho. Secretly, Joey's spirit took refuge in Slade's body and lay dormant for a while. He slowly took over Slade and murdered Wintergreen. He even mounted Wintergreen's head in Slade's den with his other animal trophies. (ew) I was very sad that Wintergreen died. He was a classy character. I felt that, at heart, he was a good guy that tried to keep Slade on the lighter side of gray. You can find more information on Wintergreen on the titanstower web site.


	14. Chapter 14

Nadir – Chapter 14

The never-fading sunless light of Azarath shone around Raven's seated form. The cutting edges of the rocks beneath her picked at the fabric of her cloak. She shivered inside its protective cover. The thin tank top that she wore in preparation for their venture provided little warmth, but Cyborg felt it was necessary to use some kind of monitoring device on her during the procedure; heart monitor leads could not reach through her normal costume.

The focus that she needed to build barriers in her mind would not come. Every time she tried to still her rushing mind, her thoughts would only accelerate. Tears of frustration dripped from the corners of her eyes. The racing thumps in her chest made her wonder once more if she was ready for this; ready to leap into another's soul, yet again; ready to see Joseph again…or ready to be alone once more.

She whispered to the stones towering around her, as she had many times in her childhood, her words trembling with her shaking breath. "What do I do now? I don't – I don't understand – I don't – "

Even the conversation with Matt had left confusion in its wake. "If I am pledged to someone, must I cease any kind of work on my own?" she asked the empty air. She pushed her hood back from her face and focused on the vast array of stars spread above this dead world. "No logic – none. He loves me, then he will not allow me to be the one he fell in love with? Must I stop… _doing... _to be loved? Must I give up _myself_?" A numb spot settled in her chest. "Am I alone? Or not? I don't – I don't know. And I am terrified to ask."

"Do you understand these things, Joseph?" she asked the silent sky. "Perhaps, if we can find you, you can explain this to me. You always could explain these things to me." She smiled at the memory of the comforting words formed by his hands in that strange silent voice of his. The sign language that he spoke was quiet yet powerful. "I was so eager to learn your words, my friend. I had never met anyone so accepting as you before." She swallowed the hint of guilt in her words. "I – I am sorry I have not searched for you until now. I – I was not strong enough, before. But I have gained, gained so much, so much to tell you about. And now, even if I am uncertain of that gain, I – I still have that strength." She gazed into her empty palms. "I will do this. And then I will see what I still have."

The focus that had escaped her a moment before was now within her grasp.

(break)(break)

"Raven, you there?" Gar called into the meditation room. The slight echo told him that this room was empty as well. He leaned against the door frame, feeling dry and exhausted.

"Did I scare you?" he asked the room.

He slipped into the tiny chamber that, even while unoccupied, seemed to hum with Raven's presence. Wisps of his strange visions from the meditation they had shared loomed over him as he lowered himself onto the cushion. He lay back on it with his arms crossed behind his head. Patterns in the ceiling plaster played before his blinking eyes.

"I'm sorry. Sorry. I – I shouldn't'a pushed it. I just wanted you to know what – what touching you feels like. To know I do want you." He covered trembling eyelids with a weary hand. "And that I still love you."

(break)(break)


	15. Chapter 15

Nadir – Chapter 15

A stiffness in Gar's neck poked into the dark recesses of his mind. He blinked himself awake, still curled up on the cushion in the otherwise empty meditation room. Warm sunshine inched through the thick curtains that kept the room swathed in a womb of darkness. Something about the angle of the sun, however, jogged his mind…

He forced the curtains open. _Late in the day…very late…_

"Crap!" he yelled as he hurried from the compartment. "Afternoon! They've started…"

Using the form of a cheetah, he sprinted through the maze of corridors until he burst into the medical lab. He found them there; Cyborg stood over Raven as she lay on the medical couch, silent and unmoving.

"Vic – Raven – I need to—"

Cyborg held up his hand to Gar. His whisper was fast and harsh: "Not now. Later. Don't break her focus."

"But –"

"_Not now._"

"At least let me stay. Let me help. No one else seems to be here. You guys need someone to watch out for you!"

Vic circled the couch and placed a small key in his hands. " Okay, then, but don't wake her up. This is to unlock her eye covers. I want you to hold on to it. C'mere, let me show you –" He guided Gar over to her. A pair of amber lenses set in a hard plastic visor hid her eyes, light sparkling off the facets of the lenses. "I didn't want her totally blinded," Vic said gently. "Joey needs eye contact to jump, right? The honeycomb of these lenses will allow her to see shapes and light if she needs to, but they disrupt her focus enough to prevent any kind of eye locks. So, if things go south, at least he stays put."

Gar reached one shaking hand for her face, and then pulled it back. _If things go south…there's nothing we can really do, is there? _ The tangle of wires and pads that seemed to grow out of her made him nervous. "Don't forget, Vic. There is one other way he can jump. If someone's unconscious, he doesn't need to see their eyes."

Cyborg settled himself down on the next medical couch and held the Jericho disk up for Beast Boy to see. "Exactly. So stay awake, and don't get knocked out."

(break)(break)

Mylar and plastic clicked into place in the drive door. Cyborg's internal systems issued the command to read the disk.

"Hang on, guys," Vic reported. "I'm commencing the upload . . . _now_."

Internal reporting pulsed into his living brain. Electronic thoughts popped seemingly out of nowhere, giving Cyborg a constant status of his main memory. The endless stream of information danced across his neurons, perpetually feeding him its progress. The stream of pulses could be translated by him into words at any given moment, but often he let the river flow by on its own. It was like hearing a conversation in a second language that was as familiar to him as his own skin. The only time he would have to dip into this flow of information to convert it to speech was when someone else needed the information.

Now was one of those times: "Raven, he's completely in my internal memory now. There's no activity on his end, at least not electronically. You can start any time you're ready, darlin'."

A silent hand reached into the air between their couches. Fingertips rested against his cheek with a probing pressure. He could hear her breathing as it deepened and slowed. The pauses between the musical beeps of the heart monitor widened into near-silence. Its watchful noise all but disappeared from his ability to hear.

His internal sensors still picked up her slowing pulse even as he registered an increase in Gar's. He wanted to reassure his best friend that everything was still under control, but he didn't want to break the intense focus that Raven had spent her energy forging.

A subtle shift in the organic part of his brain registered her presence flowing from her body to his – that same close, warm presence he had always felt from her when she had healed him in the past, and those times had been more than he could count. Wingtips seemed to brush against his mind as he felt her move past him, pausing at the edge where man met machine.

(break)

Raven remembered the pathways through Victor's mind; she had a well-worn trail blazed through it by the many times she had healed her dear friend. Those roads stopped short at the edge of his circuitry, a place she had never needed to venture past. But it was a bridge that needed to be crossed to contact Joseph's soul. He was held there, behind that glowing barricade, to prevent his possession of Cyborg.

She hesitated and reached back into her own mind, touching the walls she had created there, peering through the mists that concealed the secrets of her instantaneous travel.

_Just in case_, she whispered to herself. _Just in case_.

And then she crossed that glowing frontier.

It was surprisingly warm to her spirit, and not the cold she always had imagined it to be in such a place. She combed through the pulses, seeking the essence of her old friend. In time she found it there, sleeping, dormant, a ball of human energy tethered to complex circuitry and patterns of electricity that humans saw as ones and zeroes. She sent a message back to her body to relay to the others. She could hear her own voice in a faint echo as it registered in Cyborg's memory. It was slow, almost robotic, through her snails-pace breathing.

"It is clear now, why the file was so small. He is not the file. The file is an anchor. The pattern of his plasma in digitized form."

Their responses ricocheted faintly in the distance.

"Plasma?" Gar said with a hint of relief at hearing her speak.

"The soul-self," she felt Victor's thundering reply. "Joey developed one when he was with the 'Beests, remember? Just like Raven's. Hers isn't completely intangible, just mostly. It can go through walls but can still get shattered. It's a form of plasma . . ."

"Yes," her fading reply began. "Plasma…"

The digitized plasma leash had pulled the soul with it into Cyborg's memory, and the soul slept.

She felt Jericho's empathic signature. It was there; it was altered and warped, but it was still there. She wrapped her own soul around his broken one, cradling it. She closed down her other senses, those that registered the energies of the others. She shut out their worry, their concern, their love and their edgy excitement. The sensation of diving into deep water pressed upon her; it brought to mind her similar experience with her grandfather just before his own death. Her focus fine-tuned itself until the latent energy of Joseph Wilson filled every nook and cranny of her consciousness.

His soulscape revealed itself to her.

A roar rang in her ghostly ears as her construct materialized just as it had in Thunder Horse's own soul. But this was no peaceful prairie. It drowned her empathic senses in a shock of icy water. People! A crowd of people was jostling her and elbowing her. A squirming mass of love and lust and hate and memory was suffocating her.

(break)(break)

Gar counted her breaths as he listened to the ever-distant beeps on the monitor. He felt a moan rumble through the young woman bound to the table in front of him. He counted the next breath. He waited for the next one…

…and waited.

In the back of his mind, he wondered how often he would be like this, hovering over her as she was sick, or hurt, or even deliberately diving into harm's way. He knew it was part of the job, an occupational hazard that most superheroes took for granted. It was one he had taken for granted until a certain blue-cloaked empath had worked her way under his skin. Now it was one that he wanted to avoid, seeking to put himself between her and danger.

He rested his hand on her chest between the pads around the monitor leads; propriety be damned when someone he loved was in jeopardy. One long, sluggish thump of her heart answered his touch. A thin sheen of tepid sweat was collecting in the valley between her breasts, barely visible above the now-damp shirt.

"C'mon," he ordered her. "Breathe."

A jerky expansion of her ribs responded to his demand. It was followed by a brief spurt of an exhale. Then another.

And so he continued to wait.

(break)

She had expected one soul here, not an entire host of them.

She waded through the sea of energies, wondering if she'd made a wrong turn somewhere. There were so many souls; she could see nothing else. She stopped trying to shield herself from the others. Her ethereal hand reached for the one closest to her. The energy's fuzzy glow resolved itself into an all-too-familiar dark-haired man clad in a black and blue costume.

"Richard?" she asked, incredulity floating about her head. "What are you—"

"Bruce. Wayne Enterprises. Kori," the image chanted. "Slade. Kori."

"Why are you—"

"Raven. Why did I kiss Raven? That was weird. Batman."

Embarrassment burned within her as the image babbled on.

_He is not talking to me, _she realized. _He is not a conscious being. He is an imprint, perhaps? From a previous possession?_

She turned, re-examining the others that were once again pressing upon her, their endless babbling ramming back into her.

_Slade, Adeline Wilson, figures in purple H.I.V.E. robes, hordes of odd men that I do not recognize, and a rather voluptuous rendition of Starfire._

She noticed a thinning of the milling images to her left. She pressed her way in that direction, getting flashes of memory from those that she brushed against – Troia, a much younger version of Garfield, and Victor. As she moved, the soulscape took form: soft white marble beneath her feet, a carved marble balustrade visible between the roaming chanters. Twin staircases that descended from an unseen region merged into a single flight. She made her way to the empty staircase to seek a place of refuge from the energies slamming into her from every turn.

(break)

"How is she doing, Gar?" Cyborg asked. He was terrified to turn his head, afraid to disrupt whatever was happening inside the metal encasing his skull.

_Beep_, her heart monitor said for the first time between many of his own heartbeats.

"She's still with us," Gar replied without turning around. "I don't think she can hear us any more." Worry leaked through the cracks in his voice. His hand slipped under her elbow to support her arm, which was starting to tremble as it desperately tried to remain clued to Cyborg's face.

The fingertips of his other hand stroked her breastbone between the leads. His touch was laced less with passion than with affection and closeness. The only desire in it was to feel her breathe against his hand, to hear those wretched gaps between those wretched beeps disappear.

(break)

She found him…and _her_.

A white-cloaked figure cradled Joseph's head in her lap. Blonde curls wrapped around the form's fingers as she stroked the sleeping man's temples. A silent sigh worked its way around Raven's spirited lips. The bird's shadow cast by the hood of this particular imprint told her that this would be an even more difficult conversation than she had anticipated.

This one was not chanting. It moved with a smooth grace that she did not remember possessing. The familiar rings that Azar had given her – the rings that had disappeared – sparkled on her index fingers, reflecting some unseen source of light.

Raven approached her at a deliberate and measured pace. No true conscious thought emanated from this copy of her self, but it was not a completely mindless recording either.

She knelt in front of the pair, pushing her own hood back to bring her face out of the shadows. She gazed up at what she had expected to see – the face of her former body, the face that Joseph remembered…

…but she didn't remember being this beautiful.

The face smiled back at her, as if glad to see her. Midnight blue eyes flecked with silver danced beneath the shining red chakra jewel on her forehead – a forehead clear of terror and worry. Soft lights glowed from the shadows of the white hood. Those lights, one of the few bits of jewelry that had been allowed to her in her youth, winked at Raven's violet eyes. This strange, fleshy mirror smiled at her and the sleeping man on her lap in a way that Raven reserved for Garfield in their rare private moments. A bright happiness buzzed around her.

Raven rested a cautious hand on her doppelganger's knee. "Old friend," she said, feeling that odd happiness ease itself into her. "I need to speak with Joseph. Will he awaken?"

The White Raven blinked at her. She nudged Jericho's shoulder with a lover's soft touch. He stirred, and both Ravens helped him to sit up on the stairs. The silent white one glided away to the center of the landing and watched over the chanting crowed below.

Raven held the man's shoulders as he shook the mane of wavy blonde hair back from his yawning face. Confused green eyes examined her. His fingertips touched the jewel on her forehead.

"Raven?" he finally stammered. He looked from her to the silent statue overseeing the murmuring crowd and back again. "But you…your face, your eyes…"

"Joseph," she replied as she rested a hand on his. "I am indeed Raven. I have…changed. Do you not remember? When you were inside – inside my soul?"

"No. I don't remember." He gestured towards the back of the silent copy of Raven. "I—I thought _she_ was you. She's not like the others. She's always with me. She takes care of me. Listens to me. She keeps _them_ away. But – but she never speaks to me."

Raven turned to point at the gathering below them. "Them? Who are they? Why is Garfield here? And Richard?"

"Every person I've ever possessed is here -- all their knowledge, all their thoughts when I was with them." He covered his ears and clenched his eyes shut. A grunt of pain underpinned his words. "They get so damned loud that I can't think sometimes." The statue in front of him stirred and gestured an open hand over the ghosts, and their high buzz softened into a low drone.

He smiled at the waving hand. "Raven drives them back. She can't chase them away, but she keeps them quiet so I can think. But – she's not you. I don't understand. How are both of you here? And you can speak?"

Raven stood and pulled the mass of shivering confusion to his feet. "She is one of them, I believe. You have…possessed…me as well in the past." She wished there was some wind in this stale place. Although she knew the entire scene was just a projection inside his soul, the area felt closed-in, restricted. "I am real."

He studied the empty air between the Raven and her strange new reflection. The white one left her perch and glided over to Jericho. She tucked an arm around his elbow and gave him a welcoming smile. Raven reached forward with her senses to try and read this strange reflection. Traces of Joseph's own energy signature laced through the entity. There was no independent thought in her. It felt as if he had invested his own energy into her image.

"She is more than they are yet less than you are, my friend," she concluded. He clutched at the gloved arm that was holding him as Raven spoke. "She is a…_fantasy_. You have put your imagination into her representation, and it has animated her. But why she does not speak, I cannot tell you."

"But she feels so _real_. Aren't you real?" he asked the smiling woman.

The ersatz-Raven raised her eyebrows and shrugged at him. But she still did not speak.

(break)(break)

"Vic, can you tell me anything?" Gar asked over his shoulder. "Can you hear anything at all?"

"Nope," Cyborg replied in the loudest tone that he dared to use. He was afraid that he would dislodge the meeting in his skull with any sudden moves. "All's quiet at the walls of Jericho."

Beast Boy grimaced. "_Now_ you joke."

"Relax, buddy. It's only been a few minutes."

"Easy for you to say, it's not your girlfriend on the line here."

Cyborg cocked an eyebrow. "Still your girlfriend? Does she know you're not still broke up?"

"Give me a break, Vic. We didn't break up. We just had – had an argument is all. How long is this supposed to take?"

"That, to use your girlfriend's words, is a variable factor. And she's my friend, too, don't forget that."

"Translation: we don't have a frigging clue."

"Bingo."

(break)

"I know this is a shock to you, Joseph, but it… it is good to speak with you, to see you again. I have missed you, and I've come to try to help you."

"Help me? What is wrong with me?"

"What is the last thing you remember? Before you were here?"

He shook his head. "I—I don't know. I'm trying to remember, but there are so many images in my head. I've been here forever, it seems. _She's_ been here for—"

His hand froze in the middle of a gesture.

"I remember – you were in trouble. That Forrester guy – he was hurting you, wasn't he?"

She nodded, hoping that her construct's cheeks were not turning crimson. "What do you remember after that?" She laid her hand on his forearm, sending warmth and light his way. She remembered a steady and sure Joseph, one she had depended on for so long to maintain her own stability. Seeing him so confused left her feeling hollow inside.

He covered his face. "I remember . . . sleeping . . . for a long time, longer than I should have. And waking up – fighting – my father! I felt so wilted. What had I done?" His ethereal voice grew louder. "You were – something was wrong with you, with all the Titans." He moaned. "My God! Father! His sword! He – he killed me!"

The soulscape trembled beneath her as she felt a cacophony of emotions drown out the chattering throng.

"No, no. I wasn't dead. I just – I just hid. I hid inside Slade. But I remember what he saw." Eyes overflowing with horror turned to Raven. "I saw – I saw them take you." He choked as he cupped her face in his hands. "No. Oh, no. That sleep that had me – it took you. No. I remember. And it was my fault! You – you _died_. He saw your mother and Danny do it. They killed you because I –"

(break)(break)

"How is she now, Gar?"

Beast Boy traced a track of salty water that escaped the eye coverings.

"I wish I knew."

(break)(break)

The next words choked their way out of his throat. "I killed you."

Her own confused memories of that time bubbled up; he had seen what had been done to her that day. He had seen her mother destroy her old self in an attempt to stop her fellow Azarathian souls from committing unspeakable acts. She remember waking up after her own long sleep, waking up in a body that wasn't even made of flesh, wondering where she was, where her mother was…

She chased the dark thoughts away. They were not useful now. They were in the past.

"Joseph, dear Joseph," she said, allowing what brightness she could summon to adorn her words. "Do you remember anything after that?"

_Murdering Wintergreen… Shooting Bart's knee… Dwelling inside Raven's soul for a while . . ._

"No, no, the next thing I remember is _her_… and you… that's all."

He stroked the shoulder of the ivory figure next to him. She beamed back at him. Raven could sense the edges of affection in her, but she still could not sense anything Joseph would not have put there himself. She was surprised to see herself there and not one of his many female companions that he'd had over the short time they had known each other. _Why me_?

"I'd say it was good to see you, sweetheart," he said, some of his confusion falling away, "but, up until now, I thought you were already here. I just couldn't understand why you were mute, like I used to be. It-- it's good to hear your voice."

Her construct smiled at him. It was good to hear his voice, even his soul's voice, for the first time. It was rich and clear, soft on the edges, and solid in the center, much like she had often imagined it would be.

He let go of the imagined Raven and drew the real one into an embrace. He hugged her the way he used to – close and brotherly, all at the same time. He pulled back from her, grasping her elbows, to get another look at her.

"So, you've found me! So you're not dead – she's not you – so does that mean I – we – we can be together! Really _together_."

"No, no, Joseph, that cannot be." She shook her head, her soul leaden, as the heaviness of truth slowed its movement. "Beloved friend, I am sorry, never have I had to bear such sad news, but your own body was destroyed."

"Destroyed?" The word trembled through him. "Where am I? Whose body am I in? This can't be heaven. They wouldn't be here yammering on and on and on if I were in heaven. Unless – no... no, not with you, not with her –"

"This is neither heaven nor hell, Joseph. You are somehow still bound to this earth. The Titans want to help--"

"I am bound to _you_. I am sure of it. We were always bound together, more than to the others… but Titans helping?" He scowled. "We understand each other, you and me. But _they_ never understood _us_, Raven. And they never trusted us. Because of our fathers, you know." A dark frenzy grasped his voice. "After we fought with Trigon and you disappeared, they never searched for you. They act like it was because they thought you would just come back when you were ready. They didn't think enough to believe you might have been hurt, that you were _unable_ to come back. Baby, you didn't even remember your own name! You didn't remember how to teleport, let alone know how to find your way home. They didn't think about that because they didn't _want_ to find you. They were terrified of you. They were relieved that you were gone, and I'm sure they were happy when I died, too.

His grasp on her shoulders tightened. "We don't need them. They don't know us, not the way we know each other. Let me stay here. Stay in you. I'll take care of you." He pulled her even closer, closer than they had ever been. The deepening soul to soul contact sent a cold shiver all the way back to her corporeal body. She gently pushed herself out of his image's embrace.

"No, Joseph. No. You cannot stay. You need to move on to the afterlife. I need to live. I cannot live with two souls –"

"Sure you can. You have before."

"What?" She froze as her mind attempted to process that statement. The statement that could _not_ be true because it was impossible. _Isn't it?_ she thought.

"You've had two souls before. It was always so – crowded -- in here before. I always wondered about that, about how, when I possessed you before, you always felt so full of soul. It took me a while to figure it out, but there were two of you in there. But there's plenty of room in here for me now that the other one is gone."

"But what other soul?"

"The one they were afraid of. It's gone now."

The idea quivered within her. It danced and blended with the others swirling in her mind. _My choice, two souls._ She shook off their grip to tend to the matter at hand. "I'm here to help you – help you find out why you have not moved on to the afterlife, to see what holds – holds you –"

Startled by her stammering, Joseph grasped at her image. "Raven?"

The soulscape blurred around her. A shudder passing through her body racked the fragile tether to her soul; an instinctive recall signal fired through the ghostly connection to Cyborg's electronics. A sinking sensation echoed through the connection – a feeling that she hadn't felt since –

_Oh, no. Not him. Not now._

(break)(break)

"Who, Raven, who?" Gar shouted to her convulsing form.

"Gar?"

"I don't know Vic, that's all she—"

A shrieking alarm cut him off.

(break)(break)

The pull of her body was no longer resistible – it was a magnet calling her home.

"Joseph—"

The warmth of Victor's circuits enveloped her again as she was sucked backward along the way she had entered. The impulses surrounded her and jostled the plasma host for her soul-self as it retreated back to her convulsing shell. The soft green eyes of Jericho zipped along the connection with her, following her trail back to its source. She saw a brief flash of the surrounding room: Garfield shouting and Cyborg leaping to his feet, both of them bathed in the flashing red of the alarm system. A barrage of sensation assaulted her ears and her skin as she re-entered her own body…

…with a stowaway.

(break)(break)

Jericho heard his own cry floating above the din: "What's happening?"

"Se…bas…ti…an…"

The bright strength he had always felt in her froze, paralyzed by some unseen force. He hooked himself into her senses to try to tame the chaos rippling through her. The normal disorientation he felt upon possessing another was multiplied a hundredfold. Neural electricity poured through her muscles, causing them to clench and relax over and over again. The voices of her two friends were incomprehensible in the wild bucking of flesh and bone. The back of her skull was beating a jerky rhythm against some kind of hard surface. A shrill beeping tore through the screaming klaxon in tune with her racing pulse.

One last _thump_ of her head against the surface beneath her stilled her spasms.

"Raven?" He heard Gar call over the alarms while he loosened the restraints holding the empath captive. "Raven, wake up! Cyborg's checking this out, getting backup. Tell me you're okay. Please, please tell me—"

There was no resistance to Jericho's control now. Raven faded like the evening sun into the unconsciousness of night. He was surrounded by a dense mist that curled around his soul.

"Raven – please –" Gar's voice was so urgent, so caring.

_She has another guardian now,_ Jericho thought to himself.

He accessed her vision, driving leaden eyelids wide open – only to see an amber haze, to feel something bound tightly to her forehead. He could feel the changeling's heat hovering closely over Raven's body, too closely, but he could only make out a dark blob to his left. There was no way to focus enough to make eye contact and no way to escape this body.

_Oh, well, I can think of worse places to be trapped. But these goggles won't stay on forever._

"Raven?" A warm hand rested between her breasts, pressing gently through the cotton top to the flesh below.

_Way too close_. The touch burned into his mind. _She didn't tell me – him?_

Vocal chords and her speech center responded to his caresses: "Garfield."

"Baby! Thank God you're—"

A bony fist smashed into Beast Boy's jaw, knocking him into his own well of darkness. He fell away from the bed. Jericho could only see the blob colliding with the floor.

"Sorry, Garfield," he whispered through Raven's soft speech patterns. "It is time to go."

Jericho drove her body forward. He rifled through her visual memories, learning the layout of the tower and trying to translate that knowledge into touch. He pulled the memories from a vast library of images that were at once confusing and terrifying, her most recent thoughts scrambling to the forefront. Images of that hideous brat-monster Brother Blood clamored at the front of the pack. Some images churned over and over as he sprinted through the labyrinth around the medical quarters of the tower.

He beheld the image of a leering Blood hovering over her face, sticky-sweet cotton candy eyes paralyzing her – were these memories or imaginations? History or fear?

…or premonitions?

He staggered down the hall, using whatever of Raven's senses he could access. The legs pulled in one direction while he willed them in another, as if they had a mission all their own. He stepped in one direction with the left leg while the right leg twisted to turn its own way, throwing the hijacked body off-balance. Raven tumbled to the ground.

A heavy weight pinned them to the floor: "You came right to me, my love." The voice from Raven's vision slithered into her ears and clawed at Jericho's spirit. "No need to run any more. You are safe now, wife."

Joseph's commands to her muscles went unheeded. He tried to direct her body to phase away from this new threat – one that was lifting her body from the freezing floor – one that was causing her skin to crawl – and found only barriers, barriers that he could not penetrate.

_Frantic, now_.

_Emotional manipulation – make him weak._

_Nothing_.

_Freeze his will in its tracks._

There was nothing, nothing but the pumping of Blood's heart in his ear and the jarring scream of the alarm.

Her face was drowning in this mad child's hot blood-soaked breath, her vision blank, her muscles like broken rubber bands as the mad child, who no longer felt like a child, fled to the elevator. With Raven unconscious, possession in this man's presence was a moot point.

_Where is Cyborg now that I actually _need_ him?_ Jericho screamed into the darkness of Raven's silent mind.

_Raven – Raven – wake up!_

(break)

A/N:

Many of the events listed here – Joey's death at the hands of his father, Raven's death at the hands of her mother – were taken from the "Titans Hunt" story arc (The New Titans #71 - #83). There is a lot of history in this one.

Eric Forrester – _New Teen Titans_ (second series) #48, #66-67. What a jerk. This is a guy that I would love to turn inside out. He was a meta-human with the ability to interface with any kind of computer system. He liked to advertise his availability to any female that would listen. What he didn't advertise was the fact that he absorbed the soul of any female with whom he was intimate; he needed the energy of the soul to keep his humanity. Every time he interface with a computer, he became more machine. He found out about Raven's soul-self and thought that her soul would keep him going for a very long time. (Stupid soul-sucking vampire. I hate him.) So he started wooing Raven, and she thought she had found someone that really cared about her. Of course, he didn't get with her right away because of her inhibitions concerning physical intimacy. In the meantime, Joey began to have his suspicions about Forrester and did some investigating. Eric (the creep) finally guilted Raven into sleeping with him, but just before anything actually happened, Joey rushed in to save the day. Raven's soul-self attacked Forrester and released the souls trapped within him. This also destroyed Eric. I don't think she dated anyone after that – until Garfield, that is.


	16. Chapter 16

Nadir – Chapter 16

As the doors of the elevator hissed shut, Jericho struggled to regain control of the empath's body. He could feel every sluggish pump of her heart and every slow movement of her lungs. Her senses were his senses – but he could not see and could not move. All he could do was lay helpless in the arms of this mad child, who was now snuffling around their shared throat.

"I smell another on your skin, wife," he growled. "I cannot tell if it was man or beast that dared to touch you." He sniffed again. "Ah, but you are still pure, pure for me."

His cold cheek pressed into Raven's forehead. Nausea turned over in Jericho's spirit at the caress. _Somehow, he has control over her new body, _he thought. He rattled against the ethereal threads that connected Raven's mind to her spirit, trying to bring her back to consciousness. _Maybe both our wills together will let us take her body back…_

The alarm still sang its shrill song in the elevator car. They were bathed in its flaring crimson light as they ascended towards the upper levels of the tower. Sebastian clutched her body to his chest. "Our brethren will fetch us from the roof, my love. We're going home, away from your captors. And Mother will care for you, just like she does for me. And I'll protect you. I'll love you."

Joseph shivered deep inside Raven's mind. _He sounds like _me_…_

The elevator halted, and the doors slipped open once again. Sebastian pushed his way toward the final flight of stairs to the rooftop.

"And we'll never be parted again."

(break)(break)

_So I didn't have to override the alarm after all, _Slade thought to himself as he peered around the shadowed corner into the lab. _Someone else set it off for me. Convenient._

Sensing no movement in the room, he inched forward, instinctively scanning each area as it passed through his vision, clearing the space in front of him. The air reeked of sweat. He froze as he heard the softest whisper of breath rising from between the two medical couches in the center of the room.

_Target's not moving, though. On the floor, maybe._

He crouched down and slid forward along the floor, angling his head so his one eye could locate the mysterious other. A green hand sprawled on the tiles just beyond the tip of the beds told him all he needed to know. He knelt next to the unconscious Titan.

"What trouble are you in now, Gar?" He grunted as he lifted the limp changeling onto one of the couches. He quickly scanned the young face for injuries.

_No severe head injuries. Somebody just cold-cocked him._

"But where is everyone else, son?" He spun around to observe the rest of the lab.

_Joey?_

_The heart monitor. The leads. The cables. The disk drive. The disk._

_He's out. Oh, sweet Jesus. He's out._

(break)(break)

That familiar sensation washed over Jericho's spirit -- awareness was returning, bit by bit, to the body he now inhabited.

_Too slow, too slow._ He hesitated. _I have never done this – but –_

He gave a little push to the waking mind. He found that peculiar scar in her brain, the one that he had recognized, one similar to the one of his father's mind. His energies brushed against that scar, knowing the tiny rush of adrenalin it would initiate. It pulsed out and down into her, and, as consciousness returned, her construct once again took form next to him.

"Joseph – what is – "

"No time, Raven, no time. Lower your power barriers. You know who has us. He controls us."

The shock of realization glowed through her image. "Sebastian! But how—"

"No time -- teleport us out of here!"

"No! I cannot – cannot leave with you –"

"Then do something! If you won't make the jump, then make him afraid of you, Raven! Make him feel it!"

Breath carrying the stench of old blood struck her neck. Blindly she flailed her arms to push him away, feeling where he was but unable to resist the arms holding her. She tried to sample that metallic taste of fear in her mouth and force it upon Sebastian. She tried to make him flee, but it would not come. She had no power. Nothing changed. There was only the confusion of the creature grasping her in the dark.

"Raven?"

Her struggles against Sebastian made it impossible to answer Jericho. The boy's talons scraped layers of skin from her arm and jabbed into her muscles.

"Why do you resist me?" His snarls filled her ears and echoed across her soulscape. "I came for you—"

"For God's _sake_, Raven!" Jericho begged. "You know what he's going to do to you! He's just like his father! Let me stop him! Give me control!"

She grunted with the effort of pushing away his face and failing. She shrieked as she felt two sharp stabs in her shoulder. Blood and strength flowed from her wound and into her assailant as the rotten taste of soured honey poured back in. The very ability to think escaped her.

_Jericho –_

_Blood –_

"Raven! Let me fight him!"

The yearning to escape this madness flooded her, but the equally frenzied wish to contain the unpredictable Jericho kept her grounded.

_Here – Blood and pain…_

_Away – I may disappear forever with Jericho…_

Her choices were unacceptable: submit to violence or allow someone to create it. The urgent need to flee inundated her awareness. Running was all she wanted, to slip away into a hidden dimension away from all the dark possessive feelings locking their chains around her from all sides. She could feel her seething soulself rattling inside its barriers.

One coherent thought rippled through at last – _I will not be taken._

That thought shot itself through her vocal cords into the waking world and echoed down to Jericho.

She let go.

Jericho's being entrenched itself ever deeper into her mind and tapped into that hidden spot once more, the one she had been aware of for some time but had avoided using. The spot generated by the empathy-suppressing drug given to her by Charles was a wound that scrawled across her brain.

Liquid fire flew through her limbs from that scar, and a surge of alien strength that coiled up drove her fist square into Brother Blood's chin. Her body tumbled to the rooftop as Brother Blood dropped her in a yelp of complete shock.

Jericho did not hold back.

(break)(break)

"Gar!"

Beast Boy's head wobbled on his neck as his eyes peeled open to reveal a very worried Cyborg.

"Gar! Where's Raven? Where is Raven?"

His head jerked in every direction to search the room that he did not expect to find empty.

"What happened?" Gar croaked. "Why am I—"

"I found you here. How did you get knocked out? Where's Raven?"

Gar rubbed his jaw, the memories of how it got so very sore escaping him until: "Jericho."

Cyborg clanged his way over to one of the monitors. "Let me scan for her. I put a tracer on the goggles." Clicking keys, he entered the access code for the tracer.

"On the – the roof?" Vic accessed the security cameras on the roof of the tower. "Too dark up there – going to infrared."

A scampering sound behind him told him that Gar was already on his way up.

_Oh, God…_

"Gar!" he shouted. "She's not alone!"

(break)(break)

Jericho leapt to their shared feet, barely feeling the teeth of the wind blowing across the broad cap of the tower. "Find him for me, Raven."

"Directly in front of you. On the floor."

A single step forward was met with a foot rushing directly into her ankle. Her legs swept out from beneath her, toppling the empath over, driving her rib cage into the coarse ground and pushing the wind of her lungs. A weight pressed down on her raised side, pinning her to the roof.

Breath rumbled out of Blood in heavy pants. The prickly flavor of shock and dismay rippled through her as he pressed down harder, trapping her between his torso and his arms.

"Why—do you—Raven—you fight—"

Jericho forced more strength into their arms in an attempt to break free of his grasp. Sebastian rocked back on his knees and straddled her waist with her thin wrists clasped between his now-grown hands.

"But – you should—love – love me – wife – "

With a snap and a twist, Jericho freed her wrists from his rigid grasp. A single punch to the side of the ivory neck threw Sebastian, choking and bruised, to the side. Raven's moans of the pain she sensed reverberated inside her skull.

"Finish this, Joseph," her spirit shrieked at him. "I feel your blows and his!"

_Try to hurt me. Try to hurt her, _Jericho thought to himself. _You'll never hurt her again._

Shadows barely penetrated the darkened amber haze of the goggles that blocked him from making eye contact. _But there is a way without sight…_

(break)(break)

Cyborg's gears whined behind Gar as he passed by the elevator. Beast Boy's flesh melted and reformed as a hummingbird, one that was rocketing up the stairwell to the top of the tower.

"Can this day get any worse?" he asked the tower.

(break)(break)

He shuffled Raven's body forward until her foot found the fallen man.

"Joseph! He is down! Don't—"

Toes traced the side of his body, locating his shaking head.

"Wife! Why—"

Jericho threw a kick_ –_

_"I—"_

"Jericho!" Raven's shrill cries of pain shook the soulscape around him--

Another kick _—_

_"Am not—"_

Another kick_–_

_"Your wife, you son of a bitch!"_

Raven's shaken senses telegraphed to him that the boy was without consciousness.

"He's down now, Jericho! We can flee now, find the others, let them –"

"No!" Jericho shouted. "This ends -- _now_."

"What are you—"

"Just hold on, honey. There's one door that you can't lock."

Jericho slipped away and out that door…

…and Sebastian was filled with Jericho's wayward soul.

(break)(break)

A/N: In case you are wondering how he pulled that little trick: Jericho could only possess a conscious person via direct eye contact with that person. If the person were unconscious, then direct eye contact was not necessary.

Gar and Slade: These two did have an interesting friendship over the years. After the Judas Contract and Slade's subsequent trial, Gar tried to kill Slade for what happened with Terra (Wolfman-Perez era, #54-55). They ended up in a café talking things out. It was a very touching story. The two developed a bit of an understanding. Slade and the Titans have had an ally/adversary relationship ever since. Of course, a lot of that changed after Wintergreen was murdered by the Azarathian-possessed Jericho and with the events of _Infinite Crisis_. "Twilight Child" does use the death of Wintergreen, but IC is not in TC continuity. "Twilight Child" breaks continuity with the regular DCU in the middle of the "Identity Crisis" (GJ TT #20). I really prefer the ally/adversary relationship (over the just plain evil Terminator) and wanted to touch on it here.


	17. Chapter 17

Nadir – Chapter 17

The numb distance from Raven's flesh dissipated as the last remnants of Jericho's control faded away. She still hovered over the pale man; she was too weak to even fall onto the hijacked body.

Pink eyes that she could not see ran over her face, cut and bruised from the recent scuffle. Breath for both of them came in short, ragged spurts.

She could feel those shining pink eyes boring straight into her. Sebastian was…_gone_.

No, not quite gone. He was coiled up in the back of his own skull, dormant. Raven allowed the locks on her own abilities to fall away so she could examine him further. She narrowed her focus to sift through the jumble of emotions gushing from the body of her would-be master.

The young man was comatose. The twisted mind of the moon-faced cult leader was buried in the scarred gray tissue. She sensed no pain, no malice, and no consciousness on the part of this twisted child. All she sensed was Jericho staring back at her.

Out of nowhere, impossibly strong hands clamped on to her and tossed her away from Jericho's new body. Cold concrete slammed the breath out of Raven before she realized what this new invading force was. That all-too-familiar sense of arrogant control hovered over Jericho, sword in hand, raised for a final blow. His rage roared across the tower roof with the wind.

_No time to think . . . he's too weak to fight . . ._

"Father!" she screamed into the wind. "I'm here!"

His head jerked around to fix her in his single steely eye. He rushed over with a yowl torn from his heart, the image of Wintergreen burning in his mind. The new scar in her mind that Jericho had awakened glowed once more. A burst of energy surged through her; Slade's swift motion slowed to frame-by-frame movements. She ducked and rolled away from the slashing weapon more swiftly than her imagination would ever allow. The knowledge of defense so alien to her before still lingered in her muscles. There was no time to consider, no time to debate the merits of ending this peacefully-- there was only Slade and the howling wind and her.

At the end of her roll, her leg chambered and struck out at blinding speed at the side of his knee. The sharp flavor of surprise rippled from Slade; and in that brief distracted moment, she sprang away and out of his immediate reach. A new instinct whispered to her that, even with this gift from Charles and even with Jericho's knowledge, she would only have lasted seconds before this fighting machine of blood and muscle and adrenalin. A single strike from her was an unpleasant shock, but Slade would not be shocked twice.

Her muscles screamed as she poured on the speed to stay a breath ahead of him. She knew she could jump away from him faster than he could blink. She also knew that the instant she did, he would turn on the pale form that lay still on the roof. He was determined to slay Brother Blood no matter who was driving his body. Her companions below needed to be warned that the Terminator was there. At the same time, she had to distract Slade from his son.

_Run – warn -- protect…_ the words swam in circles as blood and chemicals shrieked through her. She ran as if Trigon's hounds themselves were at her heels. "Run" was the only word ringing in her mind. She didn't have to turn to see he was on top of her. _Run_. There was no other plan that that. She was running out of rooftop… and time.

_If I fly – he takes Joseph._

_If I move…move…teleport…he may still—_

With a list of her abilities clicking off in her head, she halted just short of the tower ledge. The imminent fury behind her stabbed through her chest as she labored for her next breath. The living weapon that pursued her watched her through a haze of rage that burned like acid on her tongue.

_Living weapon_ – the words sliced through her heaving breaths. _Like_ _Thunder Horse_ – _like Grandfather_ –

The chemical scar in her brain glowed as the mercenary bore down on her – the hairs on her neck rippled as she released her soulself behind her and enveloped his grief and wrath in its bright folds.

(break)(break)

An emerald hummingbird burst through the open access door. Beast Boy flitted back and forth, surveying the area.

"Raven!" he called out.

"Gar," a voice grunted. "Gar, over here."

He honed in on the voice, turning a corner to locate the speaker.

_Not Raven – who –_

"You!" He screamed at the pale man slumped against the wall. He dropped from mid-air as a tiger, coiled and ready to spring.

"What did you do to her?" he snarled.

The fallen man raised a shaking hand to Beast Boy. His snowy skin glared against night-dark clothing that concealed him in the shadows. His smallest finger traced a "J" in the air. "Not Blood, Gar. J-Joe. Me. I'm in h-here."

The tiger froze at the sound of the voice that he knew lurked in Raven's dreams. But this was a voice calling out to him as a friend. He resumed his human form and knelt by the ashen face.

"Jericho? Joey?"

The corners of the pale lips tried to turn up. They failed. "Yeah, me." He coughed, and his frame shuddered with every breath. "No time –Raven – " He pointed over Gar's shoulder. "My father…Slade…"

"_Slade?_ Oh, God!" And the hummingbird took off again. He arced up and over the labyrinth of machinery on the roof and swung about in all directions. A bright glow to his right drew him towards the ledge.

_Her soul-self – she's okay enough to release it –_

He saw the glow rise from her body and soar out over the sea.

(break)(break)

Slade's mind jarred slightly as he fought to gain his bearings. What had been a windblown rooftop was, without warning, a field of dense mist. Even the ground beneath him had disappeared, yet he had no sense of falling.

"Damn," he muttered. The shock of sudden change rolled back the crimson from the edges of his vision. His sword arm still hung above – or was it below – his head. The lack of a target caused him to bring the sword closer to his body.

_I'm on the witch's turf now. What next?_

"Slade." Raven's voice swam around him in the fog. "Be calm."

He forced his muscles into a state of alert relaxation to conserve his energy. He could no longer predict reality; he knew that. There was no _her_ to see. No heart to aim at. And there was no Jericho.

"Where is he? Give him to me. All I want is Jericho, and I'll go."

"Your son is safe," the voice called again, swirling into the mist and curling around his body like ethereal fingers brushing his face. The grief that had choked him a moment before was no longer there. A numb spot sprouted in his chest, and for the slightest of moments, he felt nothing at all.

"Damn you, you little witch," he snarled as he summoned his remaining scraps of anger. "I'd prefer a straight fight to your playing with my head."

"Slade," she said again. "I only wish to calm you, not trick you."

"What, by throwing me into the Twilight Zone?"

"You are no stranger to my soul-self."

He gazed around at the emptiness surrounding him. "This looks nothing like it did the last time I was here. What—"

"The mist is a barrier. It denied your son access to my powers, should he try to possess me during our…our meeting."

"Which he did."

"Yes. I feel your mind, now. You have not been yourself since your friend—"

"Since Jericho murdered Wintergreen. Joey! My Joey murdered someone. And why? What did your people do to him?"

"I would never have wished Joseph's fate upon him. Your son is dear to me."

"Dear to you? Because of your people, I had to run a sword through him!"

"Need I remind you that my mother _died_ to kill _me_ in order to stop those same people?" Raven's voice hissed around him. "We have _all_ suffered from their actions."

Slade fell silent. Arella had been forced to perform the same act he had, using her own self as the sword. The memories of the soul-rending shrieks of both women shook inside his skull.

"And why couldn't you stay dead, too, Raven? Did even hell not want you?"

"I do not know why Joseph and I are both still here. My own life is a mystery to me."

(break)(break)

Cyborg slipped an arm behind the shoulders of Jericho's new body as he helped him to stand on shaky feet. His sensor picked up the chilled temperature of his skin, even through the thick dark commando-style sweater that covered it.

"Man," Cyborg chuckled. "Blood's prepped for a full incursion, ain't he? I didn't know how this would end, Joey. I certainly didn't expect _this_."

"Raven…Slade…I saw…I saw _her_…"

"Gar's over there with her body. It seems like her soul took off with Slade." Cyborg began to shuffle the young man over towards the open door. "At this point, it's Slade that I'm worried about."

"But Blood…I know his plans…he has…has help coming…"

(break)(break)

"Let me out of here, Raven! You little bitch--

"No."

"No? I know your tricks, girl. And you know I can't be killed."

"And _you_ know that I am no killer. But 'here' is three thousand feet above the Pacific Ocean. I will not release you here."

An odd sound rumbled around in the Terminator's chest, a sound he hadn't heard in himself for a very long time. He chuckled. "I guess you've got me by the short hairs, then."

"I am not sure I understand what you mean."

"I'm sure you don't. But I've always wondered why you never fought me whenever we've met. Now I know why." He slipped the sword back in the sheath on his back. "You don't have to. What are your intentions, young lady? You won't leave me in here forever."

"Merely for you to listen to me. I know you want Joseph to pay for the death of Wintergreen, and I can see within you the void left by that death. I deplore his death as well." She paused. "A man recently traded his life for mine to atone for _many_ such deeds, and, for him, it was enough. Yet sometimes, atonement is not always found in death."

Slade crossed his arms and allowed one hand to stray up to stroke his beard. "I'm listening."

"Sometimes, it can be through living. Joseph was as dead as I once was. He has awakened again and is just now beginning to grasp what has happened to him. Now, he will have to live with his actions. And he will suffer in his heart every day for it. Let him live. Let his living be your revenge and go in peace."

The suffocating mist rolled away, revealing waving amber grasses in its wake. A landscaped rolled out in front of him – a landscape shadowed in a glowing rosy sky, the silhouettes of low scrubby trees and the rustle of the ground as life both large and small scattered away from the man who appeared out of nowhere. Mountains loomed in the distance, overshadowed by the rising sun.

He turned to the golden shadow floating next to him. "The Serengeti Plain? Damn, girl, you're fast."

"Your heart tells me that this is where you are happiest."

A smirk edged across his face. "Kill me with kindness, eh? You are absolutely impossible to fight. No wonder Terra hated you so much. You know I'll just come back."

"Of course you will. You always come back. But this will give you some time to consider my offer."

"Your offer? And if I don't take it?"

"We will always have Africa."

He arched the eyebrow of his one eye. _Was that a joke?_ "Why didn't you just let me kill the brat? It would have solved a lotta problems for you, too."

"Murder never solves problems. It merely breeds more."

"Don't I know it."

Without another word, the soul-self launched into the dawn, soaring eastward into the African sunrise. He watched her fly away.

The full light of day flooded the plain before him. His years as a hunter here told him exactly where he was, and where he needed to go to make his way home.

He tightened the belt across his chest to keep his sword close to him. His legs churned beneath him as he ran into the welcome site of the Serengeti that spread before him.

_Joe is alive._

Raven's words haunted him – _Let his living be your revenge_.

_Maybe. Just maybe…_

_My son is alive…_

As he dashed into the sunrise, those words seeped into his soul and filled the spaces left empty by the night.

(break)(break)

Gar gently unlocked the protective goggles that were still hiding Raven's eyes from him. He pulled them around her head and away from her face while she still stared out to sea. He stepped up beside her and allowed them to dangle from his hand. Bright warmth surrounded his other hand. He looked down to see her fingers reaching for his.

"It is all right, beloved. We are safe, now."

He squeezed her tiny fingers between his own. "Where's Slade?"

"Somewhere on the Serengeti. My soul is nearly back, now. But it is a temporary respite, to be sure."

"You and Joey protected us -- me and Cyborg."

Her movements were tiny and calculated, the way they always were when her body and soul were separated. "Does that distress you?"

"I couldn't protect you. Again. I –"

"We went into this knowing that no one could protect me. That was the risk."

"But that's my job. And twice already I've just…failed. Instead of protecting you from Wally, you took a hit for me. Joey…Joey was the one who helped you fight Blood –"

Her hand reached for his shoulder. "After he had attacked you himself. What are you thinking, that I will go to him now because he helped me?"

"You deserve someone who can –"

"Garfield." She leaned closer into him. Tenderness spread out from her and enveloped him. "Garfield, there are many things that no one can protect me from. I am the child of Trigon. Someone great and terrible will always pursue me because I am that. All the armies of the greatest warriors in the world could not save me from them. That will never change, but there are many things that you _do_ save me from, things far worse than Sebastian."

"Like what?"

"Despair, fear, loneliness… They are the dragons that only you can see." She stepped closer to him and pulled his arms around her waist. She pushed her head into his chest, touching the skin above his heart with the crown of her hair. "The ones only you can drive away." A soft cheek brushed against his chin. "I _am_ protected here. I _am_ safe."

A bright speck of light flashed on the horizon and emerged out of the fading sunset. Raven murmured, "Ah, Sebastian's retrieval…they…they are leaving now. They did not expect me, did they?"

He held his strange little bird to him, grateful for the affection radiating from her. "I just…I just want to be man enough to take care of you."

"You _are_. Your – tenderness -- gives me the strength to protect myself when no one else can." The other cheek caressed his neck and burrowed into his shoulder. Her lips fluttered against his ear as she whispered, "You have accepted my weakness, beloved. Please, accept my strength. Love that part of me, too."

"I do," he replied, giving her a squeeze. "I do. We – we're still 'we', aren't we?"

"Yes. Still… 'we.'"

(break)(break)

Cyborg rested his chin on his knuckles and focused on his coffee cup, trying not to stare at the trio now sharing the kitchen with him.

A woozy young man with bleary pink eyes and pale skin slumped over the edge of the table. Joey appeared to be studying the sharp fingernails of his newly occupied body, but Vic knew he was sneaking glances at the couple on the other side of the table. Raven's face, covered with fading indentations from the now-absent goggles, leaned into Gar's shoulder. She drowsed softly against him. His cheek rested against her head, and his arm was wrapped protectively around her back. Gar made no bones about boring holes into the pale man's head with his eyes. The back of his other hand rubbed at the darkening bruise that Jericho had created a few hours before.

Vic sighed to himself. _What the hell do we do now?_

(break)(break)

Jericho's eyes flickered from his newly found hands to the others at the table. Sensations he had long ago forgotten – the itch of thirst at the back of his throat, the growling of appetite in his empty belly – were stampeding through his body. Dizziness hopped around behind his eyes as he tried to focus on something, anything, to stop the movement of the room around him. Still unused to gravity, he felt the slight nausea that voyagers feel when they finally touch dry ground after too many days at sea.

He wanted to talk to _her_, talk to her as he had for who knows how long, talk to her about deep and hidden things. Especially now, when she could talk back to him. Why was she across the table and not beside the one who had loved her for so long? Why was she with _him_? Gar Logan. The boy that Joe had known before was no longer there. No, now it was a man glaring back at him from across the table. It was a man that held _her_ in his arms.

_Just how long was I gone?_ His vision lingered on Raven as long as he dared before he returned to staring at his new hands. _She's younger. Gar's older. And I…what am I, now? Raven?_ His weary lids drooped lower as he tried to find the White Raven in his mind.

He expected silence. She had never spoken to him. But he could always feel her. Feel her affection for him. But now, now he felt nothing. Nothing at all.

_Raven? What am I?_

A/N:

The "J": In case you are not familiar with Jericho from the 80's: He used the sign-language "J" to tell his friends that he was in possession of another person's body. Remember, if that person were conscious, he could not speak through them. But he could still control their movements enough to use sign language to tell the other Titans that he was in there.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 - Nadir

Last Chapter

A soft ray of morning sun slipped between the bulky curtains and danced across the photo album in Wally's lap. He raised a cup of coffee to his lips. Savoring its aroma, he turned the pages that were weighed down with yellowed newspaper clippings and team photographs. Each flip of the pages saw his image grow from a boy in a yellow and red uniform to an adult in full crimson. Some of the newer pictures of Linda and the twins graced the back of the book.

_Linda…my anchor,_ he thought. He looked over his shoulder into the bedroom where she was still sleeping. _Keep resting, sweetie. You deserve a late morning._

He lingered over the pictures of the two infants and chuckled at their innocent expressions. A deep sigh of contentment escaped as the rare early morning silence curled around him. _I am a rich man. And happy to be alive._

_Alive._ The word stuck in his head as the visions that Bart had shown him danced in his mind, images that were clearer than the photographs in front of him. He retrieved his wallet from the side table and rifled through the stack of credit cards, expired video rental cards, and torn receipts. He had to thumb through the stack three times before he found what he was looking for. It was worn at the edges, where it curled like every hidden wallet treasure tends to.

"I'd almost forgotten you were there," he confessed to the photo. "But you have always been there, haven't you?"

A young woman in blue stared back at him. She had always hidden mysteries under that cowl, that cowl that hid every feature except for a pair of midnight blue eyes and a set of full lips that seemed molded into the edges of a permanent frown.

_So strange, to see you smile. And smile like that at Gar. Gar! Who would've thought…_

He heard his own soft laugh, and then covered his mouth to stifle it and let the rest of the family sleep -- and to let himself think.

_Alive,_ he thought again. _And now I know I'm alive because of you. And because I'm alive, I have all of this._ He closed the album and patted it gently. He slipped the tattered photo back into its leather cave.

_Funny_, he mused. _I used to always feel off-kilter when I did this before. Angry. Confused._ _Now I just feel…content. Quiet._

The memory of his recent mission with her rang between his ears. _And how did I thank you? Oh, God. I take a swing at someone who is defending your honor, and I hit you._ Hot salt burned in the corner of his eyes. _I hit _you._ Of all the people…And I don't hit women. I _don't_. But I did. Even if I didn't mean to, I did it._

He glanced down at his watch. _I wonder if she's still an early riser…_

(break)(break)

The long low call of a horn rolled through the thinning veil of fog. The tower faded in and out of view of the long observer on the mainland pier. The barest wisp of air stirred soft auburn stands of hair around her face. Shining amber eyes studied the immense steel and concrete structure as one ray of sunshine, then another, reflected off of its windows.

One shaking hand covered the young woman's heart. "My lady," she whispered into the morning air. "My _Arjh-no-ree_. I am here. And soon, I will bring you home."

A stiffer breeze, edged with crimson, blew past her and left swirling mists in its wake.

(break)(break)

Bart ushered him into the main entrance.

"Hi-Wally-Good-to-see-you-gotta-tell-you-what-happned-last-night-Gar-told-me-they-got-Joey-off-the-disk-and-then-Brother-Blood-showed-up-and-Joey-took-him-over-and-now-they're-both-good-guys-and-Terminator-showed-up-and-Raven-escorted-his-ass-to-Africa-not-sure-when-he'll-be-back-or-where-Joey's-gonna-go-but-they're-talking-about-it-now-and-I'm-making-a-donut-run-whaddya-want…_"_

Wally processed the barrage of super-speed talk like only a member of the Flash family could.

"Uhhh….just glazed. Please. Can you tell me…tell me where Raven is?"

"Pool-area-weird-days-huh-see-ya-bye."

Wally scratched his chin as he watched Kid Flash blur away.

"Weird days. No kidding," he said to the rush of air that was left in Bart's wake.

He took his time as he made his way beyond the kitchen. Vic's deep voice rolled through its door as he strolled past..

"Trust me, Dick. Stay out of it…yeah, yeah, I know, but it's…Dick! NO!"

_I can only guess the other side of _that_ conversation, _Wally thought.

He kept going, still feeling a little lost in this west coast version of the tower. Nothing was in the same place as the old "T".

Gar's voice floated by him as he passed some of the conference rooms: "I just want to—yes, I need an appointment. I'll tell the guys what I need then. Yes. No, not Dr. Sommers. I need a guy – no, not until then. It's _personal_. So. . .what? A month? I've gotta wait a month?"

_And I don't think I want to guess the other side of that one,_ Wally mused as he kept on walking.

(break)(break)

The sun had finally reached into the tower, and rays of light sparkled against the walls around the swimming pool. Wally padded onto the tiles as he searched the room with his eyes.

Her voice echoed off the tiles. He followed it to a pair of lounge chairs parked in the warm patch of gold spreading through the windows.

"—he will return to the United States within thirty-six hours, most likely." A voice he did not recognize, but, from Bart's little announcement, he was able to guess.

"By then, you will be someplace safe." A voice he did know all too well.

"Raven – I need to tell you – the other one – the other you – she's—"

Wally cleared his throat. "Uh, hi, Raven. Joe?"

"Wally," the colorless young man nodded at him. One of Beast Boy's trademark Hawaiian shirts, with Caribbean-blue surfboards marching across it -- draped across his frame at an awkward angle. "Good to – good to see you."

"Uh, you too, Joey. Long time, right?"

"Too long."

"Uh, can I speak to Raven? Alone?"

"Sure. I'll…" he stammered. "I'll go check on – check on things. If you need me, Raven…"

She nodded and turned her attention to him as Jericho walked away. As Raven's violet eyes studied him, Wally wondered which of the thirty-odd emotions flittering in his stomach she was reading the most.

"Hello, Wallace," she greeted him, her manner circumspect, like a cat padding around a pool of water.

"I – I'm not sure where to start," he stammered.

A slight smile twisted her mouth in reply.

"Uhhhh—what I wanted say is, I'm sorry. About the other day." He sat down on the chair opposite her and slumped down in it. He peeled back his scarlet mask to reveal his eyes to her. "I mean, I'm really, _really_ sorry. I'd never want to hurt you like that. Not on purpose. You know that, don't you?"

She nodded, the twist in her mouth turning down.

"And I'm sorry I took a swing at Gar. If I hadn't – well, if I hadn't been such a dumbass and gotten mad at you for saving my worthless hide –"

"Your anger – your anger is always what hurt me the most."

"Yeah, I know. I know that now. And I care about it, too. I was so mad before – I just didn't get it. And I'm sorry for that, too." He rubbed the back of his neck and gazed down at the golden sun dancing on the tiles below his feet. "Look, I know this is awkward, for both of us. But, I guess that's what I came here to say -- that I'm not angry any more. And that I'm glad you're happy and that Gar seems to make you happy. And I'd like – I'd like to ask you if you wanted – wanted to be friends. We never really got to be that, did we?"

She hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. A slight tremor shook her fingers as they grasped the sides of her calves. Staring out the window at some distant object, she whispered to him.

"But Wallace – you have always, _always,_ been dear to me. You _are_ my friend. You were my _first_ friend. You were the first to show me this world. You helped me start college when I first arrived on Earth. I am so grateful to you for that. I always hated the – the distance between us." Her eyes rested on her trembling hands, as if by staring at them she could stop their quaking. "I-- I never could tell you this before, but I have the strength to, now."

Wally bit his lower lip, and then smiled at her. "I'm glad you did, Raven. I'm glad you did. And I believe it. I believe it now."

She cocked her head and looked at him full-on, her eyes full of questions. "Why – why now? What – what has changed?"

He moved a little closer to her and rested his hand on her shaking fingers.

"It's something – something Bart showed me." He swallowed, hard, and gulped a deep breath before continuing. "I need – I need to tell you a story…"

"A story?"

"Yes. It's a story about a boy, a girl, and a big icy mountain…"

FINIS

(break)(break)

A/N:

Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Write to me and let me know what you think!

If you're wondering about Gar's phone call…just remember their little conversation in chapter 21 of "Coyote". He's got some questions he needs to answer.

Some questions have been answered, and others have been asked. What will happen next? Find out in "Dawn Child", the last planned installment of the "Twilight Child" series. There is no post date now, but I can safely say that it will be a while in coming.


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